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[-] dellish@lemmy.world 131 points 1 month ago

It's gay to walk quickly. It's gay to take your own bags to the shops. It's gay to have empathy.

Holy shit there are a lot of people out there who are very insecure with themselves.

[-] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

things people have took me I'm gay for:

reading
cooking
cleaning
being decently dressed (not even well-dressed)
having skin care products
using conditioner on my hair
driving a sedan/compact car
playing nintendo or jrpg games
enjoying classic music/opera/theater/ art & foreign films owning a cat
drinking cocktails/lattes/milkshakes
riding/racing bicycles
not playing team ballsports

the definition of straight man is very very narrow for some folks, basically drive a giant truck, be unable to take care of yourself, and be into sports and action pop cuture, rock and roll/rap, and only ever do 'basic' things.

if you do anything outside of the box, you're gay. because 'normal straight men' don't do those things, and if they do, they only do it to impress women or something. like I can go to the opera with my girlfriend and hate it, but if i go myself and enjoy it I'm gay.

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According to this I'm Gay... can't wait to tell my wife.

[-] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

You sound like my brother 😂

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[-] paraphrand@lemmy.world 104 points 1 month ago

lol what? I’ve never heard this stereotype.

[-] RustyShackleford@piefed.social 22 points 1 month ago

Nor have I, but I guess this definitely rules out being gay based on my walking speed lol.

[-] tomiant@piefed.social 5 points 1 month ago

Apparently I'm fascistly gay.

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[-] DagwoodIII@piefed.social 8 points 1 month ago

If we're going by stereotypes, the straights should be striding purposefully, laser focused on getting to the building site or gun range.

The gays should be sauntering slowly in painfully tight Italian loafers.

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[-] turtlesareneat@piefed.ca 5 points 1 month ago

I first heard it maybe 10 years ago, and it's become a lot more prevalent, once you start to notice it (obviously not all gay guys but a lot do) then you kind of take up the joke too. I've always been told I walk too fast, now I know why.

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[-] IndustryStandard@lemmy.world 71 points 1 month ago

Pythagoras claim that walking in a straight line is the fastest way has been debunked. Walking in a gay line is faster.

[-] Lemminary@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

Walking in a gay conga line reaches warp speed and emits sparkles.

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[-] 9point6@lemmy.world 58 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

fellas, is it gay to walk quickly?

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago

I hope not. I usually walk quickly, with purpose. I hate these types that can best be described as "waddling". Just like a sloth cosplaying as a duck. And somehow they manage to just stand in doorways, and block isles. Meanwhile I'm in my head thinking "HEY FUCKFACE!!! MOVE YOUR FUCKING ASS!!!"

And then I wonder if I might have anger management issues. Then I realized I haven't punched anyone in a really long time, so that's close enough to managed anger. So that means these wastes of space really are that annoying to walk behind. Shopping doesn't have to take 2 hours. You can be in and out in like 10 minutes. You just gotta know what you're buying, and where it is. But then these types just.....exist.

So I just want everyone to know, that if you could lose a race to a snail, I want you to know that everyone hates you. If you're going to walk this slow, just get a mobility scooter. Maybe you'll be faster on wheels. Which means out of my way faster. And really, that's the ultimate goal here, right? Getting everyone out of my way. I think that's a goal everyone should work towards. That, and finding someone willing to bring me cheese regularly.

I really like cheese.

But also, I'm not gay. I had no idea speed was gay? Then again, I don't notice these things. I'm always the last to know if someone is gay. I didn't realize Richard Simmons was gay until 1995. I got made fun of for not knowing. And that's how I found out.

[-] jerkface@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 month ago

I hope not.

Bad take.

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[-] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 month ago

Is it gay to have long legs?

[-] blx@piefed.zip 40 points 1 month ago
[-] ObsidianZed@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago
[-] Leviathan@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Had a bike shop here called bikurious. Great name, they used to get all my business.

[-] saltnotsugar@lemmy.world 40 points 1 month ago

Unidentified submersible bearing 323, moving at gay walking speed. -Das Boot maybe

[-] NoSpotOfGround@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

Set course bearing 323, full gay ahead!

[-] massive_bereavement@fedia.io 8 points 1 month ago

Suction on After Trim, gay venting.

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[-] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 35 points 1 month ago

It’s a long held belief or stereotype that gay men walk faster than straight men

It is? Is this some commonly known stereotype that I just missed hearing about?

[-] Talentlesssculptor@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Guurl, we have got places to be! Hello?!

[-] bluesheep@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

TIL I might be gay, couldn't possibly be adhd or anxiety. Kind of a weird way to find out but alright

[-] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Yeah I think this is an AI hallucination. I've heard or seen this. And I've been a very fast walker, I blame mine on ADHD or autism.

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[-] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 35 points 1 month ago
[-] oats@piefed.zip 12 points 1 month ago

Nice to meet you gay, I'm moved

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I guess “city walking” makes me gay? Is this what they mean by “metrosexual”? Idfk anymore lol

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[-] zout@fedia.io 27 points 1 month ago

TIL I'm gay. Great, now I've got to tell my wife I suppose.

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[-] Iunnrais@piefed.social 24 points 1 month ago

The fuck does walking speed have to do with orientation? Do men get less gay as they get older and slow down?

[-] Lemminary@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

Dunno, but it's a common trope among gay men to walk at light speed. I'm incredibly guilty of this. The "move, bitch, I'm gay" struggle is real.

[-] Zink@programming.dev 21 points 1 month ago

Unexpected?

I appreciate all the funny comments about the gay tie-in, but the "unexpected health benefits" of WALKING is the dumbest attempt at clickbaitizing a headline that I've seen in a while.

[-] StillAlive@piefed.world 19 points 1 month ago

Republicans on their way to make gaywalking a crime.

[-] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

I never heard of this as "gay." Though my girlfriend and I (female) both walk pretty damn fast, so maybe there's something to it.

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[-] Gumbyyy@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

It's a long held stereotype that gay men walk faster than straight men

Is it though? This is the first I've heard of it

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[-] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

The faster walking speed is so that I can be a bottom sooner and for a longer time.

[-] NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 month ago

It’s unexpected that exercising with higher cardiovascular output is associated with health benefits?

[-] ruuster13@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 month ago

Brisk walking places greater demand on the heart, lungs, and muscles than slower walking.

The article ignores causality to make our walking speed this quirky thing. In reality our heart beats faster because of historical trauma and hypervigilance, which the body automatically converts into increased walking speed. It might be adaptive but it's not fun constantly looking over your shoulder to watch for danger.

[-] rhymeswithduck@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago

Not everyone walking fast is experiencing trauma flashbacks. Sometimes I'm just impatient and want to get where I'm going.

[-] Miaou@jlai.lu 11 points 1 month ago

USians really can't stop thinking about (homo) sexuality, episode n+1

[-] enphurgen@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

I guess I'm gay when I'm angry?

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[-] 1D10@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

That's not true, I've always been told I walk too fast and I'm straight, Ish.

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[-] TimeNaan@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago
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[-] Beangut@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Can confirm, am bisexual. Regularly stuck behind slow walkers but not fast enough to overtake fast walkers.

[-] gnu@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 month ago

Got to commit to being gay instead so you can have the extra speed for the overtakes.

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this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2026
229 points (93.5% liked)

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