things people have took me I'm gay for:

reading
cooking
cleaning
being decently dressed (not even well-dressed)
having skin care products
using conditioner on my hair
driving a sedan/compact car
playing nintendo or jrpg games
enjoying classic music/opera/theater/ art & foreign films owning a cat
drinking cocktails/lattes/milkshakes
riding/racing bicycles
not playing team ballsports

the definition of straight man is very very narrow for some folks, basically drive a giant truck, be unable to take care of yourself, and be into sports and action pop cuture, rock and roll/rap, and only ever do 'basic' things.

if you do anything outside of the box, you're gay. because 'normal straight men' don't do those things, and if they do, they only do it to impress women or something. like I can go to the opera with my girlfriend and hate it, but if i go myself and enjoy it I'm gay.

According to this I'm Gay... can't wait to tell my wife.

Nor have I, but I guess this definitely rules out being gay based on my walking speed lol.

If we're going by stereotypes, the straights should be striding purposefully, laser focused on getting to the building site or gun range.

The gays should be sauntering slowly in painfully tight Italian loafers.

I first heard it maybe 10 years ago, and it's become a lot more prevalent, once you start to notice it (obviously not all gay guys but a lot do) then you kind of take up the joke too. I've always been told I walk too fast, now I know why.

Walking in a gay conga line reaches warp speed and emits sparkles.

I hope not. I usually walk quickly, with purpose. I hate these types that can best be described as "waddling". Just like a sloth cosplaying as a duck. And somehow they manage to just stand in doorways, and block isles. Meanwhile I'm in my head thinking "HEY FUCKFACE!!! MOVE YOUR FUCKING ASS!!!"

And then I wonder if I might have anger management issues. Then I realized I haven't punched anyone in a really long time, so that's close enough to managed anger. So that means these wastes of space really are that annoying to walk behind. Shopping doesn't have to take 2 hours. You can be in and out in like 10 minutes. You just gotta know what you're buying, and where it is. But then these types just.....exist.

So I just want everyone to know, that if you could lose a race to a snail, I want you to know that everyone hates you. If you're going to walk this slow, just get a mobility scooter. Maybe you'll be faster on wheels. Which means out of my way faster. And really, that's the ultimate goal here, right? Getting everyone out of my way. I think that's a goal everyone should work towards. That, and finding someone willing to bring me cheese regularly.

I really like cheese.

But also, I'm not gay. I had no idea speed was gay? Then again, I don't notice these things. I'm always the last to know if someone is gay. I didn't realize Richard Simmons was gay until 1995. I got made fun of for not knowing. And that's how I found out.

Is it gay to have long legs?

Bike-curious?

Set course bearing 323, full gay ahead!

Guurl, we have got places to be! Hello?!

TIL I might be gay, couldn't possibly be adhd or anxiety. Kind of a weird way to find out but alright

Yeah I think this is an AI hallucination. I've heard or seen this. And I've been a very fast walker, I blame mine on ADHD or autism.

Nice to meet you gay, I'm moved

Dunno, but it's a common trope among gay men to walk at light speed. I'm incredibly guilty of this. The "move, bitch, I'm gay" struggle is real.

Not everyone walking fast is experiencing trauma flashbacks. Sometimes I'm just impatient and want to get where I'm going.

Got to commit to being gay instead so you can have the extra speed for the overtakes.