My kids only eat the dog. They rip off and discard the delicious corn coating like it's a banana peel. Why don't we just offer them regular hot dogs, you ask? We do, but "they don't taste the same." Monsters. So now we don't buy corn dogs because I'm not paying corn dog prices for hot dog meals.

I feel like I'm constantly being called out on this site.

Is that like, just a really shitty scotch egg?

No mustard? Fuck that, I'm out.

Yeah Mr Moneybags where would I even get 7 corndogs?

Dammit, now I’m craving seven corndogs!

Why am I suddenly craving olives?

Rawdogging seven corndogs

7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 dwarves. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.

I'm no American, but I'm assuming they're using cornmeal in that batter. I can't eat cornmeal and will certainly regret it.

I will certainly regret eating seven sticks, though.

Cooking up seven corndogs seems like more effort than making a quick meal.

I don't even have a corndog cooker.

I always eat the stick. It's a good source of fiber.

This meme lies. I followed its instructions and ate 7 corn dogs including the stick and now I have a belly ache.

Also, I'm pooping blood. Is that normal?

Just put them in your mouth.

this reads somewhere between Neil Cicirega lyrics and Clerks dialogue