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There will soon be a schism between Protestantism and Burger Protestantism. The True Faithful are singing songs of praise, martyring themselves in front of His house. We will see an era of purity and dollar menu abundance once again.
I HATE BURGER CALVINISM 
🎶 Always look on the grill side of life 🎶
It's hard to pick a single signature as the best, but I think this one is my favorite
It's such a beautiful quote. He went Full 
with cum and it's not even the weirdest Bryan Johnson thing.
edit: Oh yeah, I just read it out like a dramatic monologue and it might displace the 9/11 Total Accident Theory as my favourite deadpan thing.
Why am I hearing, "Always Look on the Bright Side if Life"m
our national hero
i'm not standing for Ronald McDonald (i'm not standing in general unless its to hit concessions, which by the way, remains open during the bullshit pledge while a bunch of rubes will stand around with their hands on their hearts. we're in the concourse motherfucker i'm trying to get some nachos get out of the way)
also by the way the last baseball game i went to there wasn't a single place in the VERY FAMOUS STADIUM to get nachos. even the two stadium employees i asked were like "oh you want nachos, like your standard ballpark nachos?? yeah we have those. they'd be in....." [looks at their map] "oh....i guess we DON'T have nachos anymore"
????? if i can't get some plastic bright yellow cheese and the worst corn chips you've had what the fuck is the point of baseball. anyways i got a pretzel instead and was very unhappy about it because i was so high & had been thinking about the nachos since i got to the stadium
nachos 
update: i just looked up their concessions guide because I wanted to post an image about how it goes from 'Lobster Rolls' to 'Peanuts', completely skipping over N for Nachos but THEY ACTUALLY HAVE SEEMINGLY ADDED THEM BACK??? (the old lady gate attendant who I had asked was also very confused about the lack of nachos but promised me they'd probably return...and they have....thank you Fenway thank you Sandra I'll be back)
that'll be $15
that's right and its still worth it to my high ass as i sit there watching a baseball game 
what the fuck is the point of baseball.
bored fans, coked up players.
And every U.S. billionaire owning a team and pretending it's some kind of philanthropy.
Got a solid laugh out of me
Coworkers looking at me like I lost my marbles again
You wanna know how I got these stars [and stripes]?
If this was in an episode of The Boys I'd call it hack writing.
Ngl he do be hitting those notes tho
it's so american to have a national anthem so fucking hard to sing that the only way you can do it without killing someone is if you're a professional singer
My most counter-revolutionary take is that the US national anthem kinda slaps 
Wasn't it an old br*-*sh drinking song?
This is a better bit than anything the writers for The Boys have come up with this season.
This is a serious country, now stand and salute for the national anthem sung by burger clown
Y'all gonna go see Ronald McDonald singing at ol' Heil Hitler Field?
spoiler
Lol I know it's Truist bank, but that sure looks like HH, doesn't it?
To be perfectly honest this is exactly what I expected
Ronald sings the hits.
this post was submitted on 08 May 2026
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