1687
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.

  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.

  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).

  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.

  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

(page 6) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top new old
[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago

I was here for... Whatever this is...

[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago

My only advice would be to have a back up plan. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail, and there's no guarantee you won't get an unpleasant surprise. You say you'll use the toilet if you're about to shit yourself, but what if you can't make it and do end up shitting yourself because you put it off so long?

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago

Lemmy history!

[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago

You said if we guess you'd confirm so here's my attempt.

Are you participating in like one of those TV competitions? Will you be filmed if you poop and that's why you'd rather not?

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

Is the goal to keep the poop inside your body? If it's allowed to come out and play, you could blend it with gatorade and consume it as soon as possible to minimize time spent outdoors.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

One of the more interesting posts I've seen here

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

This has to be a kink thing, one of the weirder ones. Holding a plug, not sweating, because it is not wished?

Else it is something illegal. Drug mule, crossing a border which would either make the drugs visible, or maybe another crime to not leave obvious DNA traces. No sweating to not look suspicious on control? Not much stuff to disguise the longer travel?

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

It’s ok. He/she/them will understand that people do poop. They aren’t worth it if they can’t Accept this

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

Im just posting so I can see my username on one of Whang's videos one day.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

It’s been 6 days since the original post. OP was 3 days out from the poopless leg of his trip. OP, I hope everything went according to plan!

Please update when back!

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

Honestly, I’m just commenting to say I was here.

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

I really wish I knew what I did in the past to achieve this. Depression and poor eating habits?

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

Im dying at the urgency. "Guys tell me how to not shit for 3 days AND DONT ASK QUESTIONS DAMNIT"

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

Good luck mailing yourself out of the country.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

Get your bowels empty in the days leading up to it. So don’t eat. Anything. 2 days before you can relieve yourself start eating small amounts of protein.

Or, better yet, don’t even try to do this. You’re very unlikely to succeed and therefore your effort is going into preventing an inevitable situation rather than figuring out how to deal with the inevitable problem once it arrives.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

I wonder if doing a colon cleanse beforehand help? Similar to what people do before a colonoscopy.

Also, it is an odd request but I’m now fully vested in your post to see what others suggest.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

The important first step is preparation. You need to clean the pipes. There should be nothing left inside you before you commence on the trip. So take some laxatives and do some cleaning. After you’re thoroughly pristine you must only consume a clear liquid diet, so clear juices and soft drinks (make sure you consume the full sugar version because that’s how you’ll get your energy). Take a multivitamin each day. On the second or third day take an Imodium, this is likely overkill but you won’t poop. Return to a normal diet on the third day but do so gradually over the course of a day or two. I cannot guarantee that this method will not damage your health and the risk will likely be greater if you have other health conditions, but you wont poop sooo.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

Such an oddly terrifying post.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

I'm honestly more curious about this than I was about any of the locked safes.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

If it's important you can easily just not eat for three days. Otherwise, there's nothing you can eat that will be safe and prevent you from pooping.

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›
this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2023
1687 points (95.8% liked)

Asklemmy

48608 readers
652 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 6 years ago
MODERATORS