Your therapist seems to have some boomer gender stereotype ideas

is the therapist expert in gay relationships? he likely has some assumptions based on how gays were viewed last century.

As a transfem I can say with certainty that I have had the same experiences. I'm not saying you should transition, I'm only saying that the behavior you've described doesn't fit a masculine stereotype. This is good, because gender roles are for the straights.

At the same time, there is something to be said for male socialization taking away some forms of emotional expression that could harm your ability to connect to other people. If you come across as stoic or quiet or overly self-conscious, you're seen as someone who dislikes people. Obviously you aren't, but this is a perception I struggle with as well. Arguably this difficulty in making friends isn't a queer issue at all, it's just a personality thing that you can work on by building confidence and doing more therapy.

I don't understand the question, or the distinction.

I think (almost?) all people bond by shared experiences. You make your friends through shared experiences. This shared experience could be many things, such as the love of reading, love of anime, gym, playing the same sport, etc. But it could also be sharing the same space or knowing the same people. If you have absolutely 0 in common, a relationship is very hard.

I have no clue how this would be different between genders.