When a dog cannot carry it

First it must become a branch, then work its way up to being a limb, and through perseverence and bravery, it may one day be a trunk. Trunks make great logs.

When you can't wrap your hand fully around it, I'd say, is the boundary between a stick and a log.

About two seconds after that booty clap

When the average person cannot lift it with one hand

At the point where you put down the reciprocating cutter and pick up the chainsaw.

If you can lift it with one hand, it's a stick. Possibly a staff if you'rewearing a pointy hat. A log requires at least two hands.

Making these up.

Logs:

• Take more than 1 hand to pick up

• Burns for more than 30mins

• Can cause concussion if thrown through the air.

Stick is a branch where as log is part of the trunk. Narrow trunk is called a sapling.

Yours is a stick. Mine is a log.

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You see, dicks

If you can stand on it and roll it with your feets, that's a log. Can't do that with a stick. Nobody ever heard of the stick rolling championships.

If it sticks around for long enough, it eventually gets logged

When you can no longer hold it!

When diameter > 100mm

When you remove a single grain of sand from a heap, and as a result, it is no longer a heap.

Some definitions have fuzzy edges. Actually most words are really fuzzy that way. Mathematical concepts are precise, but normal everyday words aren’t. Treat them accordingly.

bigger than your thigh

Depends if you've got a stove/open fire as a source of heating.

Sticks are used as kindling to get it going, logs are used to keep it going

What about cords, twigs, or timber? You can't jump straight from sticks to logs.

When you write on it.

5"

When I get semi-aroused.

At the same time grains of sand becomes a heap.