And does the SF ever go away?

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[–] 50 points 6 months ago (31 children)

Sounds like a categorically terrible idea. Is there any ackshuall proof having 1 orgasm per day (regardless of the outlet or method) is harmful in any measurable/quantifiable way besides reducing desperation for sex?

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  • [+] 51 points 6 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (29 children)
  • [–] 35 points 6 months ago (10 children)

    I sincerely dont and cant understand no-fap outside of an addiction 12-steps/abstinence style vantage point.

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  • [+] 48 points 6 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (7 children)
  • [–] 22 points 6 months ago* (6 children)

    Like, i dont get how they (presumuably) view having an orgasm-via-penis-in-vagina everyday as truly and biologically distinct from everyday orgasm-via-masturbation. I dont think your body truly knows the difference in a mechanical sense.

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  • [+] 32 points 6 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (7 children)
  • [–] 12 points 6 months ago (6 children)
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  • [–] 25 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (5 children)

    It's a little odd calling them a "mate" in this context. There's nothing wrong with masterbation. If you think porn is had and don't wanna watch it, that's fine, but genuinely there is absolutely nothing wrong with masterbation. I think a lot of people take folks' negative feelings about porn and twist them into negative feelings about self pleasure and try to get people to believe that living some "pure" life where you don't touch yourself is inherently better than the alternative or something. It's really not.

    Sex is a big part of life. There's no reason you can't do it alone. There's no reason why you shouldn't do it alone. Go enjoy yourself. Have some me time. It's not something to feel guilty about.

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  • [–] 25 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

    Personally, I think "NoFap" is bro-science with little basis in anything even remotely factual.

    As someone who was single (and a virgin, to apply a social construct) well into my 30s, I can totally relate to the emotional burden that loneliness, sexual frustration, social isolation, and all of the self-negative thoughts that come from feeling broken and unlovable. I get it, I really do!

    To say that "it sucks" is an understatement, and I truly understand how feeling those kinds of feelings can make some "incel" guys lash out and be angry at themselves, women, or society at large. That's not an attempt to excuse bad behavior, of course, but only to say that I understand the emotional context that too often breeds it.

    I genuinely believe that loneliness really is an epidemic, for men and women alike, in both friendship and romance, and when you combine that with a modern political climate that seeks profit and power from fostering culture wars and driving wedges between regular people, it's not hard to understand how we have become conditioned to hate ourselves and each other.

    Undoubtedly, there is a serious problem with modern culture and proprietary app-driven socialization.

    But here's the key point: I really don't think depriving yourself of sexual pleasure is going to make you less lonely, less isolated, less self-negative, or even more motivated to meet others.

    Self-control can be a virtue, sure. There is certainly value in being able to resist instant gratification and controlling one's urges...

    But choosing to live a "life of NoFap" isn't going to do anything to address the core reasons why you feel lonely or isolated in the first place. All you are really doing, in my view, is kicking yourself while you're down--punishing yourself for being lonely, when you should instead be practicing self-care. You're not addressing your problems, you're adding to them.

    Companionship, romance, and sex are different things, crucially. Ideally we would have them all, but you can have one without the others. So, with that in mind, why on Earth should a person deprive themselves of sexual pleasure just because they are lacking in romance or companionship?

    The unspoken and unappreciated truth is that you don't, and shouldn't, need to be in a relationship to have a satisfying "sex life". And likewise, people who aren't in a relationship shouldn't feel the need to deprive themselves of sexual pleasure due to some false idea that somehow being sexually frustrated will make you more motivated, attractive and likable.

    If you really want to build relationships and have sex, start touching grass, getting to know people, and going out on dates. Shower, shave, wear clean clothes and deodorant, brush up on current events and take up some hobbies. Don't just look for "girlfriends", make friends and grow your social circle in general. If you have to ignore the superficial bullshit dating apps and meet people in other ways, then good, more power to you. But that's really all it takes.

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  • [–] 18 points 6 months ago (5 children)
  • [–] 14 points 6 months ago

    I have a friend who was in that situation. After a while he just started jerking it again. Not watching so much porn and not jerking it every day is probably good for you, but going no fap is just gonna give you wet dreams to clean up and won’t actually solve any problems.

    The whole “rarely find a mate” thing is first of all a really weird phrasing and secondly is a solvable problem. That manosphere crap is a learned helplessness grift. Lower your standards a bit, get some hobbies, go socialize. As long as you respect people, you’ll find plenty of people willing to give you a chance.

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  • [–] 11 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (5 children)

    I know it's not what you asked, OP, but NoFap is a purity cult. Cross reference the mods from r/nofap and you'll find heavy correlation with religious sub's.

    Despite claims for helping porn/sex addicts, their intent is to get their foot in the door.

    If you want to live a life of NoFap for reasons you decide for yourself, fine, but don't do it to gain any of the benefits those twats claim.

    Worst case scenario is you get prostate cancer.

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    [–] 11 points 6 months ago (3 children)

    I did it for a little over a month once just to see what it was like. There weren't really any effects beyond just being horny all the time. It was basically like being a teenager in high school again. Other than that nothing changed. I didn't experience any of the benefits you see people talking about. I probably had more trouble focusing on work but that's hard to tell because that's always been a problem.

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  • [–] 9 points 6 months ago*

    I'm in it, last relationship was 17 years or so ago

    I mean it ain't all bad. So long as you don't mind the actual loneliness, the physical touch gets easy to forget.

    But I dunno if I'd recommend this to anyone tbh

    Oh edit because I didn't address your question. No it doesn't go away, but it gets easier to ignore over time. Also I'm on 1500mg oh lithium so that may impact things.

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  • [–] 8 points 6 months ago (1 child)

    I don't understand the idea of not fapping.

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    [–] 7 points 6 months ago

    Using the term "NoFap" in the title is a bit like putting "AI" in there - it pretty much guarantees zero productive conversation in the comments and instead acts as a bug light for certain people to just chime in with their personal views on that one thing.

    I don't even bother writing a response to the actual question because I don't want to spend the rest of the day defending views I don't even hold.

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  • [+] 7 points 6 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 child)
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    [–] 6 points 6 months ago

    One of the side effects is compulsive posting on 4chan /pol

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  • you can never make art again

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  • [–] 5 points 6 months ago*

    I can only guess anger, depression and extreme irritability. Especially in such a sexually charged culture.

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  • [–] 5 points 6 months ago

    You ll just be alot more horny and you will have more sexual daydreams. The rest normalizes, but keep in mind sex is healthy for the body in general.

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