This is how we find out that the Stargate program is real, but the gate network only goes between Waffle Houses

Whom amongst us has not suddenly had their car lifted up and transported 40 miles into a ditch near a church

if i drink enough I teleport to waffle house too

“I was with my boys one time, and I was telling them I was gonna go to Waffle House and get Waffle House. And I ended up at a Waffle House – this was in Georgia, and I end up at a Waffle House like 50 miles away from where I was,” Phillips said on the podcast Onward, co-hosted by rightwing activist Catherine Engelbrecht.

Phillips added: “And they said, ‘where are you?’ and I said, ‘a Waffle House.’ And: ‘a Waffle House where?’ And I said: ‘Waffle House in Rome, Georgia.’ And they said: “‘That’s not possible, you just left here a moment ago.’ But it was possible. It was real.”

is this a dudes rock situation?

After pondering my orb and drinking enough witch's brew to kill a mortal man, I willed myself to the local house of waffle and donned my wizard cap.

republicans can teleport, it's just that it only happens one of two ways: 1/3 of the time they teleport from a bar to their bed, and the other 2/3 of the time they teleport into a car wrapping itself around a tree

When the shrooms kick in.....

When I do it, it's "driving under the influence" 😞