356
Alternatively: NO (startrek.website)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 115 points 2 years ago

Command doesn't work if the creature doesn't understand the language, and that word isn't in the bard's vocabulary

[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago

You just killed him dude !

[-] [email protected] 86 points 2 years ago

"Dude, it's a sleeping dragon. If I wake it up, it'll just be pissed at me. If I try and do anything while it's asleep, I'm scum. I get the horny bard jokes, but I'm a little offended you think so little of me.

Besides, the spell only lasts 1 round. I can easily go 6 seconds without fucking. I just think about your god and I go flaccid."

[-] [email protected] 21 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

All this is true unless your Bard's named "Donkay".

[-] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago

The movie doesn't actually show if she was asleep or not when Donkey first encountered her. She had her eyes closed and then opened it very quickly, immediately pulling back and breathing fire at him as he fled. She was pissed at him.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

Boom. Spell complete

[-] [email protected] 66 points 2 years ago
[-] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago

OMG, and using Donkey‽ Amazing

[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago

You might want to tuck that lip in before a fly lands on it. You should just count your blessings that he didn't use power word autofellatio

[-] [email protected] 48 points 2 years ago

Command has a range of 60 ft. If it was 5 ft. the approach command would be pretty useless.

[-] [email protected] 32 points 2 years ago

Command the bard to ejaculate. He'll have to ejaculate for an entire round. His nuts will be like raisins at the end of it and he won't be able to have sex for a good while.

[-] [email protected] 26 points 2 years ago

If you're gonna do that there's a way that doesn't spend a spell slot

[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago

Is that a grapple check or athletics?

Maybe a series of contested athletics check with the opposing rolls getting gradually higher penalties for..reasons..

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

Your Dex vs the bard's Cha.

[-] [email protected] 23 points 2 years ago

A round is roughly 6 seconds, that seems like a pretty normal timeframe.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

True. Maybe some post nut clarity, then?

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago
[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Can confirm.

Am Lemmy user and TTRPG player and use interrobangs on occasion

Edit: wtf. I know I clicked reply under that comment. Oh well

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

This comment is likely meant as a reply to https://lemm.ee/comment/5804251

Man, it'd be nice to have a fediverse-friendly way to link to comments.

this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
356 points (95.4% liked)

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