I realized I boxed myself into a corner and put myself in solitude. I bad at asking for help.
Really it started when I got pulled over by a cop on my bike for not having lights at night. The interaction did suck because I had to ID myself and turn back home, but that was nothing. Really the cop stopped me from doing a felony(I won't say exactly what it is but I have gotten support to do it. No i didn't intend to harm any innocent person) that I was stressing about doing and dragged myself into doing because I thought it was "public service". Like I thought I was well prepared but I failed so fast.
Everything ICE has done in the news has stressed me out to the point of not following the news. I did join a group of protesters, which was fun. I came up with a plan to deal with ice that's near impossible to detect with human senses and of course I won't articulate in this post. The idea of maming an ice agents weighs heavy on me, like I imagine myself being disabled. Also escalation in the conflict between ice and public. I spaced out writing that sentence. I hope that the peaceful resolution is that it simply gets too expensive for ice to operate and they simply reduce the scope of their operations.
All these emotions have made me mildly depressed and I feel like it's effecting my involvement with DSA, like im missing meeting I don't intend to and I'm not enthusiastic about the meetings, but I also wish my chapter did more in my area, I do feel like I'm waiting for them to announce something