Self-esteem and Self-confidence Influenced by the External World Self-confidence refers to an individual’s trust in themselves. Self-esteem is the subjective evaluation of one’s own value. Inferiority is simply the lack of self-esteem. Many articles claim that confidence can be increased, that self-esteem can be cultivated through external means. In my view, these concepts have no psychological entity that can be literally increased or decreased. They are merely adjustments of innate human psychological states.

Using a battery as a metaphor: high self-esteem is high charge, low self-esteem is low charge. Increasing self-esteem does not add another battery to what one is born with. The factor that most affects these concepts is human interaction. We gain or lose energy through social relations, which in turn influences the level of self-esteem. By definition, to escape low confidence or low self-esteem, one only needs to give oneself a blind yet stable belief. This has little to do with external reality. Learning to separate value from reality is the simplest solution.

Evaluations Built Around Value: Recognition, Being Needed, and Being Loved Value, in my view, is defined as how much benefit a person or thing can bring to others. The self has no inherent value, because value is constructed by subjects. How can a fictional construct restrict the very subject that created it? When an individual evaluates themselves by value, they place themselves beneath others to some degree. To break free from the bondage of value, one must separate value and rights from self-evaluation. Even an ordinary person does not lack rights, nor should they belittle themselves.

Recognition is the feeling most commonly sought. People use recognition to evaluate their own value, because value can bring greater benefit. These benefits may be psychological—such as increasing self-esteem—or practical, such as enhancing influence. Recognition grows out of success, and success grows out of value. Recognition is essentially an evolutionary reward mechanism: what benefits the community benefits the individual. Moderate pursuit of recognition can indeed be beneficial to mind and body. But people become addicted, and society raises its standards. In my view, the best way to break free is not to seek recognition at all.

The sense of being needed is similar to recognition, but goes further, involving entanglement with actual interests. People enhance their self-esteem and confidence by bringing benefit to others.

Being loved is essentially also an exchange of benefits, though concentrated on the psychological level. The one who loves does so because the object meets their requirements, while also satisfying the need to give love. The one who is loved receives psychological energy from the other, satisfying the need to be loved. In my view, love and being loved are the least utilitarian of human interactions.

My Final Solution All of the above psychological concepts are ultimately self-serving. Yet in contemporary society, many people are instead enslaved by these concepts, believing that external evaluation or influence is everything. When they perform poorly, they assume their self-value must decrease, they become emotionally depressed, even surrendering rights that should belong to them. This is putting the cart before the horse—being bound by tools that were meant to serve. In truth, none of these relationships are necessary.

My method is to sever all external evaluations from self-esteem, self-confidence, and the self itself. If this is too difficult to grasp, the practical method is to ignore all thoughts and emotions not consciously chosen, and let them flow freely in the mind. At that moment, one may become aware of the true self—the source of all conscious thoughts and emotions. This is a state of inner calm, where almost all external notions and evaluations lose their effect. In this state, there is no longer any “should.”

Note The above method is not precise science. Readers who encounter interpersonal or psychological problems should first seek assistance from others.