Your parents: “We are proud of you to the same extent that we are proud of ketchup”

Immortality pill and a pill that can kill someone who is immortal (for when I get bored).

Edit: Properly labeled!

It would mean more for me to be proud of my dad.

Also, mustard.

I had an old coworker who came from the UK (ex military in UK and Navy in US) ask me to grab him a burrito bowl one time at work, I askes whag he wanted in it and he said to tell the person to pack it like his wife was going on vacation and was only allowed one bag. That may be sexist/stereotyping and offensive, but I used that line the next time I got a street dog and he knew exactly what I meant.

Does chili count as one thing? And cheese.

Or mayo and relish.

Or mayo and dijon mustard.

Or chipotle mayo and caramelized onions.

Is ketchup sweeter than it used to be? I can't stand it anymore.

Sorry we don't offer that here... oh no I mean you can have as much ketchup as you like.

I'd take mine with chili and pure satisfaction in life, but that would be redundant so chili alone will suffice.

Dijon mustard and relish for me.

I wanna add fulfilling work and get me the fuck away from fascism please.

onion and mayo :)

Chili (without beans) and cheddar cheese. I'll miss not having onions but I can live without.

Or mustard and sauerkraut.

relish and a response to tyrannical overreach. but good relish, mind, dill.

You'll then immediately lose their favor after you put ketchup on a hotdog

A hotdog with all the toppings I like and a million bucks

Mustard and chopped onions forever

That's a lot of wieners...

Mustard and pickle slices for me!

If the parents are from Chicago then the ketchup explains WHY they're disappointed

Relish and diced white onion

Your parents aren't proud of you because you choose their acknowledgement over onions on hotdogs.

Fucking loser

two more hotdogs

Mayonnaise and sweet relish.