489
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by sundray@lemmus.org to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top new old
[-] mitch@piefed.mitch.science 99 points 1 year ago

Godspeed, you hero of gyros, you hoagie heroine, you rigoletto of Ruebens...

[-] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago
[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 34 points 1 year ago
[-] j_roby@slrpnk.net 24 points 1 year ago

An American Gyro

[-] nkat2112@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 year ago

My goodness, so poetic - I love it! And I fully agree with you.

[-] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Sammie Samaritan.

[-] HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works 69 points 1 year ago
[-] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 33 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The way they leapt at him the moment he threw it tells me that what he was saying and doing was actually getting to them.

We need more of this.

Also, I know I often laugh when I'm uncomfortable, so maybe that's it, but the camera man is about to find out that maybe having the Gestapo take over your city isn't actually funny.

[-] burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 1 year ago

The way they leapt at him the moment he threw it tells me that what he was saying and doing was actually getting to them.

I mean, I highly doubt it. They were paying keen attention to the fellow screaming and yelling within a chucked sandwich distance, and he then threw a sandwich at them. They'd probably been considering what they could get him on (besides white or rye) for the entire time he was yelling at them because anyone close and loud is likely the biggest 'threat' much more so than any of them having a brain at the point of them going in with any seriousness after being ordered into a city with a lower per capita crime rate than the white house.

[-] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 year ago

Right, but like all of them took off after him lol

[-] violetsoftness@piefed.blahaj.zone 22 points 1 year ago

this was beautiful thanks for sharing it

[-] khannie@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

Damn! He was close when he threw it. Solid work getting away.

[-] Chivera@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

That sub belongs in a museum

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 2 points 1 year ago

Oh, Spez is working on it

[-] j_roby@slrpnk.net 62 points 1 year ago
[-] DaddleDew@lemmy.world 54 points 1 year ago

Are those the dangerous gangmembers Trump was talking about?

[-] RedPostItNote@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

Don’t you know it’s worse than Baghdad!

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Formfiller@lemmy.world 43 points 1 year ago
[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago

But he does have a wrapsheet that's a foot long.

[-] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 year ago

Some just have hero sandwiches?

[-] beatnixxx@fedia.io 28 points 1 year ago

a domestic terrorist using a sandwich of mass destruction. /s

[-] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The murder weapon was composed of ham and cheese

[-] Bronzebeard@lemmy.zip 22 points 1 year ago
[-] bizarroland@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

That slow run was like ballet.

[-] RaoulDook@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

What's the charge? Delivering a footlong meal? A succulent foot-long meal?

[-] LordCrom@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

It would be assault of a police officer and resisting arrest. Looks like that guy in pink was running in slow motion vs the special forces wanna be's wearing 50 lbs of armor and equipment.

Throwing sandwiches should become the new protest en masse.

[-] chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 year ago

I think it's just a play on succulent Chinese meal guy (he's dead now).

[-] RymrgandsDaughter@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

Nah he was a hero delivering justice

[-] paraphrand@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

Cops love sandwiches.

[-] MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

Fucking fantastic!

[-] mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 year ago

what a hero

handoff food delivery for those fine fucks, whoops folks, in the gestapo

[-] atzanteol@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago

"assault and resisting arrest".

[-] maam@feddit.uk 6 points 1 year ago

Never mess with the heavy eating his sandwich

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago
[-] Jumi@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 year ago

I keep trying to formulate a plan in my head:

On one hand ACAB: They all promote the national security culture within the law enforcement sector that we civilians are the enemy. The departments are all corrupt through and through

On the other hand the non ICE officers hate being used as Sπ‘–π‘β„Žπ‘’π‘Ÿβ„Žπ‘’π‘–π‘‘π‘ π‘‘π‘–π‘’π‘›π‘ π‘‘ or Einsatzgruppen (German SD, or Death Squads, respectively) to pick on innocent civilians to be shuttled away to concentration camps. And I wonder if there was a way for the public to tell them we're sorry they are being abused by being repurposed as general goon squads, and if that might encourage them to resist more than they do.

Also, ICE agents, either pre-Trump used to sometimes engage in action that at least had the appearance of legitimacy, e.g. tracking people with violent records. New recruits (post OBBBA Budget) were told they'll be hunting the worst of the worst and then are picking up day laborers and ice-cream vendors, which is soul crushing for even MAGAs who wanted to be the hero.

We need to be able to take these sentiments and weaponize them against the system, and the policy-makers that are forcing them to be evil fucks for The Man.

I don't know the specifics, but there's a schematic in there somewhere.

[-] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 year ago

Oh? They "hate" that, do they? Cite your references to that claim, please. Otherwise, your comment seems to stop at "ACAB" in its efficacy. 🀌🏼

load more comments (7 replies)
[-] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 year ago

So... I gotta know. Was it a hero's hero he launched?

load more comments
view more: next β€Ί
this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2025
489 points (99.4% liked)

Not The Onion

22177 readers
1124 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, β€œThat has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS