When October 7th happened, I was filled with rage toward Hamas. Like many, I watched the footage of brutalities, and when the IDF entered Gaza, I cheered them on. Over time, the suffering of innocent Gazans began to bother me—but not as much as it should have. I had become desensitized, like so many other Zionists.

But over time, the images from Gaza started to haunt me. The turning point came with the revelations about Sde Teiman.

In May, CNN published an expose detailing abuses at Sde Teiman, followed by a New York Times report confirming these claims. Both drew on Israeli and Palestinian sources. At first, I dismissed them because Israeli media and my government denied everything. For years, I believed the international media was biased against Israel—that they were antisemitic. But slowly, I realized how deeply I had been lied to. Not just by outsiders, but by my own country, my friends, and my media.

Many who initially denied these allegations later admitted they were true. The worst part? These truths didn’t come out because the IDF or government had a change of heart. They surfaced only because pressure from the UK, the International Criminal Court, and the International Court of Justice became too great. Netanyahu, Gallant, and the Chief of Staff faced serious legal jeopardy, so they finally admitted the truth: Israel routinely tortures detainees, sexual abuse is common, some prisoners die from torture, and many jailed were innocent—rounded up by mistake and thrown into hell without any real verification.

This cannot continue.

From that point, I began looking more critically at what Israel was doing. It pains me to say it, but I had to confront the fact that my country, my friends, and my family were part of a genocide. Early in the war, I insisted that accusations of genocide were blood libel, spread in bad faith. I was right about some actors, but wrong in my overall judgment.

The seeds of genocide had been sown long ago, nurtured by a Zionism that I now understood had been deeply flawed from the start.

I had always sensed something was wrong with Zionism—that beneath the promise of a safe Jewish homeland lay a dangerous exclusivity. The ideology, as it hardened, increasingly dehumanized Palestinians. It denied their humanity and justified their displacement and suffering.

Several moments pushed me to face this truth. I realized Netanyahu wasn’t running the war to defeat Hamas but to escalate violence. The Sde Teiman revelations exposed official lies and cruelty. The slaughter of paramedics and the cover-up shattered my trust. Then came the campaign to bomb every hospital in Gaza, the destruction of water sources, and the sniper shootings of children. The full picture was undeniable.

Zionism began as a movement for survival and self-determination, [Not really. — Anbol] but over time it morphed into a project that demanded ethnic exclusivity and supremacy. This exclusivity bred fear, hatred, and denial of the other’s humanity.

That denial made it easier to justify systematic torture, displacement, and now, genocide.

This descent was slow but steady—a tragedy born of fear, denial, and the erasure of Palestinian humanity.

I had understood this all along, in a way. But I was silent, desensitized, caught between loyalty and truth.

Now, I cannot stay silent anymore.

I was reluctant to share this piece because of the author’s both-sidesing and his oversimplification of Zionism’s origins… but understanding how he left Zionism is useful, and I feel like he would be easy to further reeducate, so I don’t feel too comfortable simply forgetting about him either.