Explain Like I'm Calvin

In the spirit of c/explainlikeimfive, here's a place to come up with the best explanation you can on topics you know nothing about. Inspired by Calvin's brilliant dad, who knew everything.

RULES (Inspired by ELI5):

• Blatant speculation only. If you know the answer to a question, keep it to yourself! We only want the best and most creative wild guesses here. Even if you know the answer, make up something better.
• Never cite sources. We're not looking for verifiable facts here. Your source should be your own crazy imagination.

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