literal shitpost

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[–] 30 points 1 year ago* (2 children)

I remember when I was on the healthiest diet I ever had. I took a shit every 48 hours. The consistency was hard, yet smooth and spreadable. It had a diameter of about 2" with a well defined beginning and end. It didn’t take long to exit my body as well. 15 seconds from sitting to shitting. When the toilet was one with a step and the turd chose to stay, I had to stand up to let it all out, or move to let it fall. The emptiness in my bowels caused my balls to cramp not just once. Those were the best. Not even much to clean up afterwards. And not only it opened my asshole to let shit out, but also the possibility to shove things in. Who knows, maybe someday some domina will want to do butt stuff. I’ll be ready then.

Edit: words to make it sound more English and less engrish

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  • [–] 15 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Get the zoomies like the apex predator you are.

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  • [–] 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    It's nice not being so full of shit, right?

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  • [–] 9 points 1 year ago

    Eat more fiber and you will be happy everyday.

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  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago

    Like a load or burden has been lifted. (Well dropped really)

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  • I have IBS, so when I take a nice, normal shit, it feels like a triumph

    It's almost transcendental, the feeling of satisfaction

    The little push, the delivery, the smooth exit, the lightness afterwards

    It's quite wonderful

    I enjoy it every few months....

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  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago

    All my happiest friends are proud of their shits. I think it's the key to happiness

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago

    It's happened

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago

    When you stand up and look back in the toilet, and all you can say is "Holy shit".

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    "Boost" yes... Mood? No.

    Send help.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    No because those usually clog my toilet.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    Famous director Stanley Kuric made a movie about that once.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago

    Some of those make your belly warm for 45 minutes. Bliss...

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago

    Just earlier today because I overslept this morning and didn't have a chance to go then. I was afraid it may ruin my streak but we're going strong.

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