Despite a smear campaign claiming that I am launching a smear campaign against my mattress, I did NOT pee or poop the bed. I am not mad that people are lying about it. In fact, I am actually laughing and smiling at all of the misinformed lemmings who believe and repeat falsehoods about innocent women who simply like the feel of plastic sheets. Sources close to the story are claiming that the accusations seem like targeted behavior and experts suggest anyone claiming that my bed is continually being soiled examines their views on women in general.