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Probably a medium sized dog, if I’m being realistic. I can’t fight a fucking bear or box a kangaroo or wrestle an alligator
You can it's just unlikely you'd win
No idea, a capybara maybe?
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Anything larger than a small insect already freaks me out, so I'm going to pass on this challenge :)
What's just a little smaller than a goose? I do know my limitations.
A duck-sized duck?
As a man who has witnessed Duck Raping Season, best avoided.
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That seems manageable. Geese resort to fowl play.
I would seriously consider some of the larger animals discussed here, if necessary, in self defense.
But not a goose. A goose comes at me, and I'm going to flee. Those suckers mean business.
I took on a goose once, actually picked the thing up and threw it, so..... would that be called winning?
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A kangaroo would fking shred you. And while you're trying to hold your intestines in it'll then beat the snot out.
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How about an adolescent kangaroo?
I reckon a full grown kangaroo. Not that I think I'm stronger (or that it wouldn't fuck me up), but in a fight to the death I think I could outsmart it and outmaneouver it.
I do not think this is close to a 100% certainty though.
gotta get behind him, one good kick to the abdomen and your intestines will be hanging out where they don't belong.
those fuckers are strong and their claws can be deadly.
Those fuckers can move.
Ya I think you could get behind it and maybe do a headlock. Maybe?
SWEEP THE LEG!
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Be careful, they will attack when you're most vulnerable.
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A fat orange cat 🐈❤️
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A really, really, really sick elephant, so far gone that it cannot move anyway
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Do my hands have to stay bare?
Like, if there's a stick around, can I pick up the stick? If there are rocks around, can I throw some rocks?
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On land?
A seal or penguin
They're both pretty slippery though.
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By mass or dimensional extent? If the latter, Japanese Spider Crab (12ft wide). If the former, a large dairy cow (2400lbs).
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I've thought about this kind of question for a long time. I reckon I can beat up about 85% of the world's population. I am a large man with quite a bit of experience fighting, none in a ring or a cage.
With that said, probably a fully grown dromedary.
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Depends. Do I need to win or is a draw an acceptable outcome? If it's the latter, the blue whale. What's it gonna do, beach itself?
this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023
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