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[+] 170 points 1 year ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (6 children)
  • [–] 99 points 1 year ago (7 children)

    1/5 stars

    I didn't have sugar, butter, vanilla, or baking powder, and I substituted the milk with cheddar cheese. Also, I don't have an oven, so I just used a frying pan on the stove top. It turned into an omelet! Would not recommend this cake recipe.

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    [–] 124 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Carrots having way too much sugar is wild to me. Like what do you eat except kale?

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    [–] 86 points 1 year ago

    I asked you for directions to Santa Monica but I decided to drive to the Mojave instead and there was NO BEACH AND NO OCEAN.

    2/5 stars, wouldn’t recommend Santa Monica

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  • [–] 75 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Carrots have way too much sugar?? To go in a cake?? Wut

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  • [–] 71 points 1 year ago

    If carrots have too much sugar for you, sweety, don't bake a fucking cake.

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  • [–] 60 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    So in cooking, I tend to do this sort of thing all the time, but not in a dumb way - for example, when I roast a chicken, if I want a more Asian spin on it, I’d sub out my usual herbs de Provence + fresh parsley/sage/rosemary/thyme for chili crisp, ginger, sambal olek, minced Thai basil, and a bit of cilantro, or something like that.

    But in baking, there’s actual chemistry involved with almost everything, so you do not want to fuck with that unless you actually know what you’re doing..

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    [–] 60 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    any site worth their salt would remove these reviews as they aren't based off the product posted since they subbed items

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  • [–] 32 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    “I tried playing my DOOM: The Dark Ages copy for Xbox but I don’t own an Xbox so I put the disk in my Nintendo 64. The game didn’t even launch wtf this game sucks”

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  • [–] 59 points 1 year ago (16 children)

    There’s a sub for this on the other site, called “Didn’tHaveEggs”. It’s funny as.

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    [–] 51 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    I've replaced the celery in the raw celery recipe with pizza. Why am I not losing weight?

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    [–] 42 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    It's like that Marie Callender Pie incident lol

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    [–] 40 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Do people just substitute things that look similar?

    I didn't like egg whites, so I used soap instead. Ew, it tastes like soap!

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  • [–] 34 points 1 year ago (14 children)

    I'm guilty of this. For my pesto recipe I replaced pine nuts with peanuts, olive oil with sunflower oil, basil with spinach, cheese with nooch, but kept the salt, pepper, garlic and citric acid. It's not exactly pesto anymore at that point, but for a struggle meal it could be a lot worse.

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  • [–] 19 points 1 year ago

    Like it’s definitely a different thing, but it’s the same general concept, gonna have a wildly different flavor but fill the same kind of culinary niche.

    Replacing carrot with kale in a freaking carrot cake is like replacing basil with potatoes.

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    [–] 34 points 1 year ago (13 children)

    I'm really loving the last one there. Somehow "shots" is their preferred unit of measure. Most cookies don't have any liquid ingredients, either, so milk is kind of a wild addition. Then they blame the recipe for being chunky, which I assume is due to the banana that they did a shit job of mashing. The cherry on top is that there is a rating out of five stars at the top (looks like they gave five stars?), but then they throw in a rating out of ten at the bottom. Should have given a thumbs up rating, but I assume the thumbs are busy in their ass.

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    [–] 28 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    What on earth do these people think recipes are

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    [–] 28 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Who the fuck substitutes mayo for heavy cream?

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    [–] 18 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    I had a friend who wanted to make my No Bake cookies for her husband so I showed her the recipe and she said she had everything.

    I show up to a game night and she’s making them but substituted the butter for the ‘can’t believe it’s not butter’ stuff. I told her it’s not the same thing and she didn’t believe me.

    Instead of cookies she served us bowls of congealed cookies.

    She tried blaming me but my friend knew better and called her out for not following the recipe.

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    [–] 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    I'm speechless. So they change the recipe and then they blame the recipe? WTF....

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    [–] 16 points 1 year ago*

    Decided to give your “famous” crab cake recipe a try. Substituted double chocolate fudge brownies for the crab and was murdered by how bad it was. No crab to be found anywhere in the mess and now I have panic attack disorder. -15/10 Next time just say you don’t know what the fuck a crab cake is, GWYNETH.

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  • [–] 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    The weird part about these is sometimes the results are absolutely fire as long as you use a little common sense.

    Its possible to bake an amazing chocolate cake by replacing the eggs and oil with mayonaise and a great Vanilla cake by replacing the milk and sugar with melted ice cream.

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  • [–] 36 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Replacing eggs and oil with mayonnaise?

    Milk and sugar replaced with melted ice cream?

    You're just substituting two things with one thing that is made almost entirely from those two things.

    Like yes, eggs and oil are a great replacement for eggs and oil.

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    [+] 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (17 children)
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    [–] 14 points 1 year ago*

    One of my favourite recipes has a comment in a similar vein and it tickles me every time.

    For context the recipe is for Oatmeal Cakes, which are baked in a muffin tray.

    The commenter says: "I wouldn’t make these again. Although they are not called a muffin, they do look like one in the picture. They are nothing like a muffin. I only realized after I had all of the ingredients in the bowl that the recipe did not call for any flour." (2/5 stars)

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  • [–] 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    As someone in IT people do the same thing. Specifically as a favor I managed to get a crappy Samsung on a up to date version of LineageOS (through a GSI). For some reason it had a very specific problem that you cant do recovery though the OS so I installed teamwin. I tell this person "ok this phone isnt secure, dont put info on it. Also dont reset through LineageOS". Well guess what, he did that anway and I ofc fixed it.

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