Probably posting this right as this thread is about to get removed but doesn't matter, just need a place to park this comment. And I think it's mental health related.

Kinda thinking of stepping away from this place until there's more of a crowd to disappear to. A lot of people talk about how it's nice to see familiar faces around and I definitely agree. But also, I feel a little exposed and stupid in a smaller crowd way too often as well. And that's not the crowd, that's a me problem.

But I wish it were a little bigger and a little busier here. I felt stupid and did less cringing at dumb shitposts when I was just another comment out of a couple hundred. One on one conversations felt easier when that conversation was just a thread in a busy post and not 90% of the post. And on a bigger and busier platform you can go through your highs and lows without feeling like you need to fake your own death and start over after a bad day.

So I'm in two minds about all of this right now. I do get a lot of joy from this place and a lot of people here. But small towns have their draw backs too.

No weed, very little beer for most of the week. Had a job interview at a place that I love. I think it went well but I don’t want to jinx it. Part time, and I’ll be back to 50 hour work weeks with that and the second job likely, but both positions are things that don’t make me miserable.

Everything would be fine, tbh, if my billionaire ex husband hadn’t maxed out my credit cards before kicking me out two years ago.

Alive and ok.

Really going to attempt to un-dysfunction my eating habits this weekend. Depression completely screwed up when I eat, how much I am eating, and what I eat such that I basically go days without eating anything but bread or cookies every 12 hours and then struggle with my mood and energy predictably crashing. I used to do just fine feeding myself but it's like I somehow lost this skill.

I go brrrrr.