Sounds to me that some maintainers need to learn how to say "no." I get that certain people use their software in critical applications, but sometimes a "fuck you, no. I'm not doing that right now" is well deserved or even necessary. You can even go a step further and cite their belligerence, if that's warranted.
The beauty of open source is that people can fork software if things aren't getting fixed or moving in a direction they like. And if they don't and still complain, bring out the ol' "fuck you, no."
Cosgrove said, "I'm afraid it'll take a significant project falling over to convince them [the users] that paying for open source maintainers is worthwhile and, in fact, may actually be a requirement.
"I don't want to see that happen because the fallout will be ugly and gross, but I'm concerned that that's what it'll take."
I disagree that it will take money. If you're a maintainer, it's your passion project. Tell people to fuck off once in a while. The people who really care will either join you to improve things or make something better out of spite.