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3. I slap my balls on it (French)

If that one sounds weird, the translation misses the point that it's a masturbation reference. It should be "i beat my balls to it". Compare with "je m'en branle", litterally "i jack to it"

I'd say french je m'en bat les couilles is technically "I slap my balls with it"

When I talk about preserving Linguistic Diversity, this is what I mean.

This is why I'm still on the Internet.

I mean a kilogram of shit is a big shit. Googling says an average shit is half a kilogram (one pound). This is interesting shit.

It's me sausage actually. And it doesn't mean no fucks given, rather it is all the same to me.

Swearing in Greece and across most of the whole region is hilarious. The actual "I don't care"/"zero fucks given" phrase is to write something on your balls or dick.

So many sayings are mother/whore/balls/dick based - not offensive phrases, just common sayings.

Danish: "Det rager mig en papand"

Lit. "That fondles me (like) a cardboard duck."

It concerns me (like) a cardboard-duck. (Danish)

I slap my balls with it will be my catchphrase for 2025

In Germany we also have "das geht mir am Arsch vorbei", which translates to "that goes across my ass". It's the more vulgar version of "ist mir wurst" or "it's sausage to me"

I offer "me vale madre" or "me vale verga" n Mexican Spanish.

The first one is weird, madre in this context both does and doesn't mean "mother". It's closer to to the mother in "motherfucker" than it is to "I fucked your mom".

They both mean "I don't give a shit" although with different flavors of vulgarity.

The second one is literally "this means dick to me"

That "Spanish" saying is a Spain saying. Things get more colorful in the new world.

Dutch and Greek go unnecessarily hard. Yeah, "I slap my balls on it" is good, but it really does just have the same vibe as "I don't give a fuck." The Greek make it poetic and the Dutch add that specific scientific component that give it that pop.

I really like the Dutch one.

Czech (pretty much also Slovak):

• "Mám v piči" - I have that in my pussy
• "Je mi to u prdele" - it is (exists) next to my anus

In portuguese it would be "tou me pouco cagando" which mean "I'm pooping a little" and I think that it is beautiful.

Polish would probably be "Mieć wyjebane", which comes from "Mieć wyjebane jajca". It is also balls-related but more like "I have my balls out for that".

"It doesn't fuck a dick to me"

Italian

"det skiter jag högaktningsfullt i" - with care and respect, i am shitting into it.

"det ger jag inte ett korvöre/ruttet lingon för" - i would not give a sausage cent/rotten lingonberry for it.

"det ger jag själva fan i" - i give satan himself.

J’m’en crisse.