Well some people go their entire lives without doing this sort of critical introspection, so good on you!

Just wanted to say you're definitely not alone in this. Straddling the line between "not communicating" and "asshole" is one of the few major hurdles I've had in my otherwise stable relationship with my wife.

I don't have a whole lot of advice necessarily, just that it the struggle is real, do your best, and cherish the people that are understanding and patient with you.

My realization with my social issues came when it dawned on me I might have autism. In fact it actually helped me being a less inconsiderate person (not that I wasn't before. A lot of times I accidently insulted a person on a very deep ego level)

Fuck the normies

Never stop posting

I basically got told I was an insufferable prick by my dad in my mid 20's before it dawned on me that I was being pretty uncool. But there's two ways that people go when confronted with this - they change or they don't. I changed and people like me now. If your response to this feedback is "oh crap, am I a jerk?", you're one of the people that will change for the better. 😊

"Bad vibes" are a common way to shit on autistic people, I wouldn't put too much stock on vague statements about being too aggressive

Annoying neurodivergents assemble!

in my view the idea of "the true me" smells a lot like woodstock era burger individualism. one's identity is something which is socially determined and not essential. There isn't a formula for eudaimonia. both striving for virtue and for authenticity can become toxic. i suggest you trust the people you hold close.

Also just shoutouts to being goddamn fucking annoying, me me me

mastodon gave me a sense of security about expressing myself, so I went all out. just said whatever came to mind, responded to people honestly, etc. most of the time I always try not to insult anyone, especially when replying to people I care about. one friend made me realize I was being too combative for no reason sometimes

Aaaah when did I write this post? Except I just did all of this here in the span of a year, lmao. There's somethin fucked up about talking online I swear.

I learned a longasd while ago that there's still a difference between "not masking, cool and good" and "just being an asshole", like there are things I should not say because genuinely it would be a shit thing to say, even if I am always trying not to be an asshole. No goofy social norms involved.

I blame neurotypicals for fudging the distinction as the reason why I learned this shit so late.