The best way to fight is to prevent it from happening in the first place. I would recommend carrying an air horn or whistle and use the noise to scare it off.
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I deal with a lot of unleashed dogs around here going after my dog so I'm already carrying pepper spray. it's too bad avians are immune to it.
actually it's not THAT bad. pepper spraying a seabird would probably end up with it drowning because it can't see where it's flying
I don't know if he'd fuck you per se. But he might make sweet sweet love to you
Cue the Barry manilow
Who in the sweet fuck is boning to Barry Manilow?!
this person was obviously seeing your mother last night
She's dead, so this only deepens my curiosity.
society as a whole has agreed that "yo momma" jokes are not actually about the other party's mother. people like you who break that convention gets this
Arrange a Knife-Pelican Fight and make damn sure you Bring a gun to that party
It depends. How exactly do you expect to find yourself up in a fight with a pelican?