Mortal Wombat

I once came across a large adult wombat just chilling in the middle of a single lane road in a national park. Wikipedia says they grow up to 35kg, but I swear this one was pushing 50kg; like a large bulldog crossed with a pig. One absolutely rotund stocky fur-ball. He continued to waddle down the middle of the road as I swerved from side to side, trying to get him to move over so I could go around. I had places to be, and drugs to consume. He did not give a fuck. He couldn't give one single iota of a fuck. I eventually got outta the car and chased him. I started with a slow jog but he just continued trotting down the middle of the road, keeping his distance. Within about 10 seconds I was sprinting as fast as I could but the majestic chonk wasn't even trying hard; just leisurely galloping. The chase continued for a solid 100 meters before he opened up and just took off like a rocket, accelerating into the shadows before darting sideways into the bushes. I was blown away. I thought the fat little cunt would be slow but he was as fast as a dog. Don't fuck with wombats. They are the honey badgers of Oz.

Came to ask if there are downsizes to hugging and wrapping my arms around that belly! 😢

Wombats are the tanks of the marsupial world.

Not armadillo?

Ive seen many a wambat beside the road. Unfortunatly most of em have been hit by cars and are thus dead.

You should crosspost then (^_^)

That was the last time it was seen before it flew back to its home planet

What?