The lighter side of ADHD
I just feel like that sense most people, even neutotypicals, get where you feel like you have a purpose, or some destiny to fulfill is simply exaggerated by ADHD/autism. It sucks having a gnawing feeling in your soul that you should be, like, saving the world or being more than human. It's impossible to satisfy, and it's a super intense urge.
You're not alone.
The therapy take is that this feeling comes about because you grew up in an environment where it wasn't emotionally/physically safe for you to relax. Even as an adult with well managed/medicated ADHD, the subconscious parts of your brain are still trying to protect you, so no relaxation allowed. imo, this is extra common in ADHD folk because even parts of our own brains were mad at us for not having executive function.
In particularly bad cases, this can rise to the level of being C-PTSD. Feeling unable to relax is a big indicator that whatever is going on in your head needs to be addressed. Therapy is expensive, but there's ways to get it covered by insurance, especially if you have an ADHD diagnosis.
Hell yeah. I grew up in the jehovahs Witness cult. One of their most used phrases is:"Are you doing enough?"
let me guess, the answer was always "no"
Well I could relax, yet still have the always uneasy feelings. I seems to be unable to do the doings of things important to me.
Not always do things need to be based on trauma or bad experiences (not that you said that), but bad expieriences often do lead to bad patterns.
You did it!
The thing you weren't doing was being uneasy.
Now you can rest easy.
Oops. Too late. Time to be uneasy again.
I know what I need to do. I have exams in 5 days. I had 12 days, now it's 5. I can't do anything.
The best time to start was 7 days ago, the second best time to start is now.
I struggle with this as well. If the step is too big I get overwhelmed and procrastinate the task untll panic sets in and fuels me with adrenaline.
Take a small step towards it without the intention to finish. Put the book out then do something else. Have the intention of just reading for 5 minutes then stop. Allow yourself to be satisfied in taking a step towards the big task.
Well I used to have that adrenaline but now I'm depressed, and I just can't do the one night study thing anymore. I've already avoided showing up to these end sem exams like 3 times now. I should low key kill myself.
Failing an exam you didn't study for us not a failure of character. It's not your fault, and it is not worth valuing higher than your life.
Depression is telling you that you put too much weight on yourself. Do your best and that is already 100% of what you can give right now, and that is OK.
Blindly copy whatever notes you already have. Letter for letter, typo for typo, doodle for doodle.
Fuck my life, I know what I need to do but I still am not
This is me on the weekends for sure. I feel like I'm wasting time even after I've cleaned my room, washed the dishes, done the laundry etc etc. Journaling, and keeping a to do list helps a bit, just lets my brain remember 'oh yeah I've done all the important stuff'.
I'm in this 4chan post and I don't like it.