🧑‍🤝‍🧑👬👭 : dadjokes

[-] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

[removed by mod]

[-] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago

Did you know that if you took every elephant on earth and stacked them up to the moon, they would all pretty much die?

[-] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Did you know that a blue whales carotid artery is so large that a small child could swim through them, but neither the whale nor the child would enjoy that.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Did you know that if you took a blue whale and laid it lengthwise across a basketball court, the game would be canceled?

[-] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Fun fact. If you took every dodgy, corrupt politician and lined them up end-to-end in space... you should probably just leave them there.

[+] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

[deleted]

[-] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

If 8 billion people hold hands and every person would take up 1.3m, the line would go around the equator 250 times. About 6 billion would drown.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

Solving climate change.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Only if all the billionaires and 1% top polluters are the ones who die

[-] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

I wish.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

True. Still: how much would the sea level rise?

[-] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Less than the icecaps melting.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

No, a line is when there are people waiting in front of you, not when they're beside you holding your hand.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

Not if the chain were pulled taut enough.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

But if you're a link in a ring chain, isn't pulling just tightening it ?

[-] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Well, now both seem right. Can we get a physicist consultation? If you pull a rope bridge from both sides, it raises it. But if low enough, that puts you in the water...?

[-] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

There is a length at which the weight of the rope itself exceeds the force exerted to tighten the rope and not break it. So basically you can have a tight shirter rope, longer saggy rope, or you have 2 ropes.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

In that case people would be dismembered, and then drown.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Would they though? Surely the people on land could hold the weight.

Maybe not across the Pacific, Atlantic maybe. Just fashion a human suspension bridge.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

“I’d like to teach the world to swim,
Oh shit, was that a shark?”

[-] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

The Coke commercial was the first thing that came to mind even after all these years. I never knew as a kid I was watching a mass murder/suicide.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

What? Did I miss something?

[-] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

teach the world to swim

Just look at this picture, all the water around the world. It is swimming already, isn't it?

[-] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

True, Captain Obvious

Dad Jokes