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this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2024
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chapotraphouse
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no but I bet he’d agree that sending him on Birthright Slovenia to become a baller would be a gift to basketball fans around the world
he's said an LA version of your title basically verbatim, yeah. barron becoming the basketball phenom he was born to be gives the same energy as that habsburg that's just a formula driver.
Lmao that’s actually hilarious but he’s def not wrong then
Also I did not know about the Habsburg thing at all and I think that’s even funnier. I will have to read about this
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferdinand_Habsburg_(racing_driver) I was incorrect, he does endurance races, not formula.
Need some kind of fucked up version of High School Musical where Barron is desperate to get into Republican politics with the pretty star of the show girl but Donald is adamant that he needs to go to college to play ball
in a slightly better world with a better SNL, this would be the cold open and there would be two callback sketches to do act two and three
wtf is donnie on
no idea but if he’s serious about his son’s future he needs to put Barron in a track suit immediately and get him in touch with Jokić
You can't see the airpods but he's about to air drum the famous part of 'in the air tonight'
I think he's a goalkeeper. Well he used to be at least
Wasted potential. This kid was made in a lab to dominate in the paint
Why does the taller Trump not eat the smaller Trump?
I have no doubt he’s going to be the fash president someday
He’s going to NYU now, so all it would take to start a potential redemption arc is to hang out with a girl with a septum piercing and take one rip from a G bong.
Obama taught us that this isn't enough
But Obama got turned down by the long legged socialist. We just need one communist alt baddie to change the future
Exactly. I’m not sure that 80s Obama could have survived even 30 seconds of exposure to a NYU EDM warehouse rave girl.
Barron is a zoomer though and is way more tolerant of potent strains
Women hold up the entire sky.
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Not even close to the same thing.
Obama wasn’t hotboxing overpriced bodega mids in a zero ventilation prewar unit with the tumblr aesthetic blogger Steven Universe Ukulele nepobaby
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Literally, they're going to tie a bunch of sticks to him and he will be unbreakable.
You mean like, a gay VP?
They will strap a bunch of gay guys to him like body armor so he can't get assassinated by the woke left. But also, their swole gay bodies will work in unison and act like a exoskeleton, preventing his joints and back from blowing out.
He'll be unstoppable.
RIP joints and back etc.
He must go to the desert and learn the ways of the Fremen
Tall Baron club
weird how i haven't heard his opinions on like anything. you'd think he'd be straight into being a little daddy's boy and espousing the good word of the wet boy but idk
Not that weird. He’s like… an 18 year old kid who grew up pretty sheltered. Pretty much would be child abuse to put him in the public eye given how much attention people would have given him if the family made him open to it.
In that way I feel like the Trump family actually did a pretty great thing for him. Making kids famous, especially in the internet age, and especially especially because of politics, is pretty fucked up.
Yeah, it's so uncharacteristic of Trump not to exploit the marketing potential of his son regardless of whether he's a minor or not. But I have a feeling Melania has a heavy hand in making sure it doesn't happen.
It might also literally be he just doesn't wanna be photographed next to somebody taller than him.
i'm expecting these people to be trotted out to do their bit for the family business like but good for him ig
The source on this is straight outnof my ass but I could swore in the last 6 mo the there was some buzz about his discord groups getting leaked and he's a super edgy alt right shit head exactly like you would expect.
Let’s be honest, when has a rumor like this been untrue about a right winger? But do follow up if you get more info
Yea also it's not exactly breaking news that some 15 year old white boy who's entire family is republican royalty had a shitty discord chat where they all think it's hilarious to say slurs.
I left a group chat with my then friend group when I was like 15 because that's all it was and my dad didn't have a golden idol of him erected at cpac.
It'd be fun if he turned into another Ronald Reagan Jr.
Primarch Barron over here
This can only be HGH, right?
ngl that’s a genuinely crazy thing to assume just because somebody is tall lmfao
Someone needs to invent a new kind of guy who assumes everyone taller than him is on HGH
Was Abe Lincoln natty or juicing?
puberty is a form of hgh, sure
But, like, he's so much taller than his parents and siblings.
Trump 6'3"
Trump Jr. is 6'1"
Eric is 6'5"
Ivanka is 5'11"
Tiffany 5'8"
He's not that far off of Eric, and Trump is already tall. Baron is also the only child with Melania. I'm also about 5 inches taller than both of my parents so it's not that crazy.
he's also got Slovene genes from his mom, Slovenians are like the tallest people in the world.
Can confirm, I’m the shortest one in my family at 6’2”. Several cousins are 6’8”+
his mother probably didn't have as good a diet as a kid, she didn't grow up rich
Good point
Didnt something come out lately about him killing animals and instigating inappropriate touching?
I googled.
[CW: alleged sexual abuse]
Answer: a guy on Twitter claimed to have been a nanny for a classmate of Barron’s around 10 years ago. He has pictures of himself with Barron (in a group of kids). I haven’t seen any external confirmation of his connection.
This guy claims that Barron killed multiple small animals, slapped his nanny, and sexually molested other children. Even if he was a nanny of a kid at the same school as Barron, it could all be made up.
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