Currently wearing a skirt for the first time. Spinnies are life. Spinnies are love.
this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2024
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yesss, skirts are wonderful!!
England is currently having a bunch of race riots while simultaneously throwing a shit fit over two women's boxers who aren't even trans, so I'm not feeling great about that.
I was just reading that the riots were started by misinformation campaigns on the internet, claiming the attack was by a Muslim immigrant. Sorry that insanity is going on - I hope you are able to stay safe.
EDIT:
I had to look up the controversy about the boxers, here's what I found:
https://www.npr.org/2024/08/02/nx-s1-5061280/olympic-womens-boxing-gender-imane-khelif-lin-yuting
tl;dr it looks like the International Boxing Association (IBA) tested and claimed these two women boxers have XY chromosomes, which was disqualifying at the time; but now the International Olympics Committee (IOC) oversees Olympic boxing events and the two women qualify under the IOC rules to compete.
Conservatives and other right-wing political actors are raising objections to these two women being allowed to compete, claiming they are men. (Most likely these boxers are women with "disorders of sexual development".)
Just to add on to your TL;DR (not that any of it is wrong)
The boxers had been competing and passing all eligibility requirements for years until suddenly last year, a few days after Khelif defeated a Russian boxer, the Russian-run IBA announced they had failed sex eligibility tests. Also they refuse to go into specifics about what tests were run and what the results were.
Yeah, reading more last night it looks like the IBA was corrupt:
Khelif and Lin came under scrutiny last week after Khelif’s first victory, when it emerged that they had both been disqualified from the 2023 women’s world championships for supposedly failing unspecified sex eligibility tests.
Those championships were run by the Russian-led International Boxing Association (IBA), which no longer governs Olympic boxing. The International Olympic Committee (IOC) withdrew its recognition of the body in June 2023 over concerns about its governance, finances and ethics
source: https://www.npr.org/2024/08/05/nx-s1-5064358/olympics-womens-boxing-imane-khelif-lin-yu-ting
I need to do better about loving myself. Any tips? lol
It's really fucking hard and seems to be person dependent. For me, self care helps a great deal. Trying to be as put together as I can helps me feel like there is less for me to focus on and nitpick.
I can't go into a weird dysphoria spiral because I haven't shaved my face in a few days if I shaved last night for example.
Finding friends and staying in touch with them has been very important for me. Especially those that don't fall into the codependent habits I've always been susceptible to. I've learned what healthier boundaries look like just by having friends that naturally have them in place and being open to why they have them in place.
Therapy is also a huge one. I've learned that I need to prioritize my own health and happiness above others. Something I would always neglect until I was past burnt out and in the more serious side of despair.
And finally, learning to stop comparing myself to how I want to be. Learning to be happy with where I am right now on my journey vs why I'm not where I want to be.
It's a long difficult journey, and I had to do each bit in steps. I'm still not where I'd like to be (but not upset with myself for not being there yet 😉) and have learned that everything in life is a journey or transition. Have to embrace it a day at a time the best you can and don't beat yourself up for having bad days/weeks/months/years
Good luck ❤️
Ah, those are good tips, thank you!
I've been learning the "not shaving causes dysphoria" lesson the hard way. Sometimes it feels like self-care to relax when I don't have to be in public and I can avoid looking in the mirror, etc. - but inevitably I do see a mirror and not shaving even the small amount of hair left makes me dysphoric in ways I don't even fully understand or immediately recognize.
In the past I have had a hard time motivating self-care, it's like I need to work on the meta-level issues to get to the point where I can more easily motivate taking the actions you list here.
Thank you again for the response! ❤️
Hey! I'm glad to hear you're doing well!
I've been alright. Four months on E as of three days ago! I've recently discovered that I have more support amongst my friends than I initially thought. There are only a few people in my life who haven't actually been supportive and I am grateful for what I have, especially considering how bad some folks have it :(
Talk about emotional rollercoasters: Last week, I had a mental breakdown on Discord after my roommate opened a discussion about the Olympics. I went off on him, completely misinterpreting his message, and proceeded to unload my fears into the channel. The resulting conversation with all of my friends ended with me transferring ownership of the server to another friend, leaving, and bawling my eyes out for the rest of the evening. I discovered afterwards that my friends do care about me, that I am worthy of love, and that I can share anything with them. I have since properly introduced them to me, Téa, and they've been doing their best to acknowledge my new identity and treat me how I want to be treated. I feel loved and supported. I feel like I can actually face the nay-sayers now, as long as I have my friends behind me.
Suffice to say, I'm doing pretty well. I'm still getting used to HRT, but it's been going well. I'm seeing progress and my levels are good.
I wish everyone here a safe and wonderful journey.
Wow this really resonates with me. My friends have helped me get through fire and hell. Probably the hardest point in my life and having friends wasn't really a thing for me until I started to transition. Who knew I was an extravert?
But also you losing your discord server resonates with me as well as I recently had to leave a server where I connected with all of my close friends. It was the first home I had ever had that loved and accepted me as Olivia and I had to walk away for my own mental health.
Well Téa, it's nice to meet you and I'm happy to hear you're able to be your true self with your friends! Hold them close because it sounds like they can help you get through anything ❤️
Hiya, and congratulations! Newbie here.
Now that I'm no longer using junk food and booze to fill the gaping void in my life, I'm slowly but steadily losing weight (for the first time ever) - went down a belt notch today :) I wonder if my man boobs will stay to give me a head start?
Plus, first laser session in a few hours. Bye bye, beard!
My man boobage did :P
Full on woman chest now though which. Is. Amazing 😁
Congrats on the weight loss! That's amazing and I hope you continue on your trajectory ❤️ it's amazing what happens when we take care of ourselves huh? 😉
And besides HRT, getting laser done on my face has been the most affirming and best decisions I have made for myself ❤️ I'm about 4 sessions in
I've not been good, I haven't gotten a referral yet and from the looks of it I won't get HRT any time soon. Every day that passes life seems bleaker and the small bit of light only seems to get dimmer.
🫂
Keep walking towards that bit of light. Even if it feels like it's getting further away.
One small baby step at a time.
You'll get there and I'm sorry you're not where you want to be yet ❤️
Can you DIY?
Please be strong 🫂
Im too scared to DIY :c
If you ever want to let me know and I can get you into contact with some people who are very knowledgeable and have expierence with it.
Just In case, you might have replied to the wrong person, thank you very much nonetheless<3
I meant to reply to you
Edit: wait no I didn't you're right. Offer is up for you if you want it as well
:P I'm good, if things go south I can count on you?
I'm always questioning myself. Intellectually, I have no idea what I want. My little instinctive thoughts and feelings, though, are pretty consistent, and that's been a great source of comfort. Enby? Trans woman? I don't know, but in the end it doesn't really matter, I enjoy presenting and feeling fem and doing things to that effect makes me happy.
People say "it's about the journey, not the destination", which I think in most cases is generally a pretty hollow platitude. It rings very true about the journey to knowing yourself, though, because learning about yourself changes you, so there will always be more to know, the journey constantly changes the destination.
Not that that really makes being kind of out of touch with myself any less unpleasant, but at least it's comforting knowing I'm self aware.
Except until I remember talking about this with someone who I was pretty close to and and they told me I'm way too self-absorbed and think about myself way too much. Which, while hurtful, is also kinda true. I do just wish I could stop thinking, it would be nice.
Depression's been REALLY bad the last couple months, finally getting better again. Almost started writing notes at one point but called a friend instead. Things have gotten better to the point where the antidepressants override things again, which is nice. They don't stop me from being depressed, but they kind of... disconnect it from me? Prevent it from causing symptoms? It's nice.
I want to get laser hair removal for my face, and find some clothes that are more fem that don't look super out of place on me, and really try doing makeup. Lately when I glance in the mirror my lips catch my eye and I think I'd look nice with lipstick. Following those little moments has led me here and made me happy, so I'm gonna keep doing it.
Content warning, sexual things below.
I caught oral herpes from making out with a guy, but didn't realize it at the time, and unknowingly transferred it to my ass via toy that I used orally and didn't sanitize before using anally. I'm thorough about sanitizing the other way around, but never thought about it mouth to ass. That really fucked me up and the day I found out I had herpes was the day I almost started writing notes. It wasn't just that, I was physically feeling terrible from both another illness and the outbreak which I thought was a fissure, so did urgent care, so it went untreated for a week and got very bad. A friend was staying with me and had a major bipolar crash just before this, and I was the most stressed ai had ever been in my life. But fuck, I had just spent months in therapy getting comfortable with dating and sex, and then without anyone ever making contact with my ass (except for one guy who ate it and tested negative and is probably the closest you can get to a sex saint) getting infected with herpes? It just instantly undid all the progress I'd made. It also made my ass feel terrible, like I didn't get to toy for two months and then it was was uncomfortable and even painful to start penetrating myself again. Even when I first started it was never painful and rarely uncomfortable. I've been slowly working at getting back ul to speed, but fuck it's slow going getting back to normal and that was one of the few things that I loved myself for/through, if that makes any sense. Honestly, a core part of my identity and now it's fractured into pieces. Still, things are improving, just slowly. I definitely won't be able to ise my open source sex machine for a couple months.
I'm feeling fine at almost 4 months of HRT now.
In about a week I will have my first control appointment with my endocrinologist after the first appointment got moved because my doctor was ill. I'm anxious to know how my levels are since I've been having relatively constant heart palpitations which I suspect are caused by my E levels which might be too low.
But I finally started doing some exercise again (cycling with my brother) since 2/3 weeks ago after a break of almost 2 years.
Ive... been. (US) I became less terrified of potential results of next election, and borderline excited after the Tim Walz news!
In less fun, the "temporary team" I joined at work to help out with a project for a few months just became my entire job (position was taken from my boss by bosses bosses boss and moved to form a new... department?) I was initially given a verbal "out" to go back to what i was doing, and it feels like a bait and switch, plus the job is functionally to automate myself out of a job within like, a year.
Its a federal job, so its not like they'll fire me but still kinda bullshit. So I'm strongly considering looking for a different job now. I found this out yesterday after lunch. I am not happy.
All that said, I have been wanting to leave this state, so it might be time to see what my options are elsewhere (and have a bit of space away from family, and really explore transitioning in a safe state/environment).
Let's nope oNevia is now oForevia on your self-love!
I. Love. This. 😅
I am hoping so! And even if I slip, that's okay because I'll be able to get back to this point. I know it exists now :3
Congrats! I love that confidence. It must feel awesome!
Hey Olivia 👋
I'm also 6months on HRT!💖💕
Things are going pretty well, my body is finally looking ok-ish!✨
I still have to find the confidence to stop boymoding, but I have to wait until laser hair removal is fully done on my beard, because I can't hide it with makeup sadly (pitch black hair)😠
Also I want my hair to be longer but it's curly and takes ages to grow, it's going to look good I feel! 🤩
Oh my god that's awesome! Also getting laser done on my face (4 or 5 sessions in? 🤔)
And my hair is also really curly and growing out! My stylist says curly and thick hair like mine tends to grow outward before down so getting it shaped often is important 🤷🏻♀️
Happy to send you a photo of my hairs journey thus far if you DM me 😁
I know I'm a bit late to this post but I've been doing really well transition wise. Last month I got to 1 year on HRT so that was very hype. Also started prog about 2 months back and its sedative effects have been very useful, as I usually have a hard time falling asleep.
Personally though, I've been very stressed out with college and I haven't had any luck finding a comp sci internship, but I'm still hopeful I will get something eventually. 😅
Also the feeling of finally loving yourself and caring about the body you're in is amazing. HRT is a wonder drug
I haven't had any luck finding a comp sci internship
Don't beat yourself up, me neither it's really hard idk why :/
Yeah I've heard a lot of people are having trouble with it rn so I don't feel too bad about myself. I've been making a bunch of projects to put on my portfolio so hopefully that will help.
I'm thinking the reason why is that a lot of tech companies have been laying off a bunch of people recently. This means it's going to be difficult to find an internship until those companies start experiencing loses from having skeleton crews, and then they'll start hiring a bunch of people back on (which they will layoff again eventually). The tech industry just tends to be annoying like that.
I just realized I'm about eight months on HRT. Woah. Time flies.