this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2024

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1059

Fastest animal (lemmy.ml)

submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 134 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The correct answer is an unlucky sentient manhole cover, that incidentally was thinking “Oh no, not again”.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Love the HH reference, but you're the second person to mention a manhole cover. What's the story there?

[–] [email protected] 64 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

If I recall correctly the fastest object ever was a manhole cover after an explosion. If it was sentient then it would be the fastest creature.
BRB, going to look up the incedent.
Edit: Here you go

[–] [email protected] 65 points 3 months ago (1 children)

During the Pascal-B nuclear test of August 1957, a 900-kilogram (2,000 lb) iron lid was welded over the borehole to contain the nuclear blast, despite Brownlee predicting that it would not work. When Pascal-B was detonated, the blast went straight up the test shaft, launching the cap into the atmosphere at a speed of more than 66 km/s (41 mi/s; 240,000 km/h; 150,000 mph). The plate was never found. Scientists believe compression heating caused the cap to vaporize as it sped through the atmosphere.

A one ton iron vent cap (sewer plate) moved so fast it vaporized. Iron into gas, just add velocity in atmo. That's so fucking cool.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 3 months ago

No, it was clearly not cool, hence the vaporization.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Here you go! It’s a fun read.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 months ago (1 children)

the nuclear blast ended up having a yield 50,000 times greater than predicted

That's what's known in the industry as "an oopsie". Almost at the "snafu" threshold over which it would be likely to cause a brouhaha.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

It was within their safety factor of 50,001

[–] [email protected] 129 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I love how they get less happy the more pedantic they're being XD

[–] [email protected] 37 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Their hair also slowly shifts upwards, as they charge their super Saiyan power

[+] [email protected] -17 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Plus it helps us realize that since they have more masculine haircuts they are even smarter, right?

Because it wouldn't make sense for the initial female to look the same and still be a physicist, right?

Just pointing out that bias may also be affecting the cartoon too, even if not maliciously intended

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure it's the same hair, just getting more and more disheveled (frizzy and standing on-end) using a simpler art style. Not different hair styles entirely

[–] [email protected] -5 points 3 months ago

No, it's shorter and more masculine... since more masculine people do hard science like physics while even a regular mom who is a little bit smart could learn biology. (I don't think this.) I am just pointing it out, it probably wasn't done with intentiinal sexism.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I be you’re really fun at parties.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

And on lemmy

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'm fairly sure SMBC isn't being misogynistic. They have no issue at all frequently featuring same-sex couples, fem-coded scientists and so on, as a perfectly normal part of the world. This is either you reading something into it, or a sheer coincidence.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago

It's possible it's a coincidence.

The idea that scientists, especially hard scientists, have a certain look is something many think... so despite literally everyone on lemmy downvoting me, i still think it's important to notice when these things coincidentally happen or don't coincidentally happen

However you are saying SMBC is very tolerant and unbiased and I believe you. I was't saying it was sexism, I was just noticing it. But I understand the defensive reaction: if the comic creator is generally accepting of many people's identitites then they are less likely to have done this with any sort of biased intent and the comic creator is probably cool and not prejudiced.

[–] [email protected] 67 points 3 months ago

Therapist: what do you think the fastest animal is?

[–] [email protected] 41 points 3 months ago

The water bears that are hanging out on the Parker Solar Probe.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Every physicist I met was in some way unhinged. One had delusions of grandeur, second couldn’t bare his feet in any circumstances, another one would pause lecture every ten minutes to go into his room from which indescribable sounds would come.

It’s probably the unbearable awareness of vastness of space that does a number on you. I wonder if they have any pills for that

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Dried frog pills, probably. I've been told if you take one you can hallucinate that you're sane, which is probably close enough for the average physicist.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Strong stuff indeed. I doubt there are many who could handle that ride

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

GNU Terry Pratchett

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 months ago

the cricket that rode the nuclear man hole cover

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

Philosopher: that depends on the situation.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I figured a biologist would say Mantis Shrimp.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

They're not very fast, they just move their claws very fast

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

Ship computer in Star Trek: "please specify search parameters."

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (5 children)

So, all creatures on earth, as seen from the center of the galaxy?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago

The humans in the satellite still win, in that case, about half of the time.

The rest of the time it's probably one of the falcons.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

As seen from the any point at the edge of the observable universe

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Which edge? One where our local galaxy cluster is blueshifting towards or redshifting away from?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Akshully I’m pretty sure the edge of the observable universe is redshifted to infinity everywhere by definition

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

They would all be fast, but still only one will be the fastest.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

If there were alien life, would this change the answer? since the question is “animal” and the kingdom of animals is a taxonomic classification of stuff on earth, I would assume the answer still remains the same

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Or as seen from photons traveling away from us.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

Philosopher: Fast at what?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

The dracula ant: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/dracula-ant-fastest-animal-quickest-strike-on-record

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Hedgehog. I know about all about youth culture and the "Sonic is a hedgehog" games.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

My cat when I sneeze.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

🙀

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Mantis shrimp.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

The shit accelerates…

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The slowest animal would be a guy driving west across siberia into europe at 500mph or something

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Found the physicist