With how atrocious the quality of this is, this had to have been intentional at some point. Can we not hold ourselves to a higher standard than this?

Well this one is easy, just ask them "is my butt big?"

I'm amazed that none of these comments are mentioning the subject line of the post is a reference to "Stop! Hammer time!"

This has the same solution as the original. You ask them "which door would your brother say leads to certain doom?" and then you take that door.

"If I were to ask your brother what kind of butts he likes, how would he answer?"

"An anaconda that is sprung?" What does that mean?

My internal groove got bamboozled.

Easy. Since you tell the truth, where’s the anaconda?

points to random door

You, which kind of butts would the other guy say he like?

Gordium called--they have a knot that you might want to take a look at.

Damnit, now that song is stuck in my head!

I've never liked it when the Two Brothers riddles are worded like this. Either the "always telling the truth" brother is the one saying the riddle, and you know who to ask which door is safe or its the "always lying" brother, in which you don't know what the actual riddle is (as the one they just told you is a lie) and both doors probably lead to the certain death.

(I should probably add that I get the refrence in the post, I'm just being nitpicky)

I am invisioning a snake coiled into a spring shape saying "dOn'T sTeP oN mE" and I really want to smash it

Honestly. Im not sure which door I would prefer to go through.

Calling someone a cock, and even rightfully so, does not make them a person.