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submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 63 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Bonobos have it all figured out.
Something scary happened a few trees over? Sex!
A logging vehicle spotted in the distance? Giggity!
Little timmy fell down the well? ❤️
Some hairless ape left an empty cardboard box on the ground? Cue the porn groove.
Chimpanzees encroaching on you territory? Let's outbreed them!

EDIT: The downvotes are from chimpanzees.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I wonder how they have time to accomplish anything else in life

I also wonder how long their refractory period is.

[-] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago

both species live in social groups that exhibit both sexual and violent behaviors.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Mafuckas read 'Sex at Dawn' and think they got it all figured out. And then they try to get their friends to swing with them.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Or read Palahniuk and want their friends to swing on them.

[-] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

There's probably some MF DOOM lines that'd fit with that

[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

Violent sex

Problem solved

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Instructions unclear, Slaanesh is telling me to use more car battery clamps, they aren't specifying how or what to use them for

[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Given that free love experiments have generally failed in human history, while limitless violence experiments are a roaring success, I think I know which way humans have gone.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Bonobos, knowing that ACAB, didn't have a CIA to invent HIV.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Everyone belongs to everyone.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

It's funny because it's true?

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Well, it's not really true. Both of those descriptions are highly flawed.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

that's half of the joke, good job!

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I had bonobos confused with gibbons for a few hours, so I think that's why it didn't match up right for me.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Both, but it doesn’t work

this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2024
513 points (96.4% liked)

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