Programmer Humor

It’s funny when I’m looking for work and people try to help me find jobs. I’ve been sent jobs for “coder” which turned out to be “medical code entry into EPIC” and architect because they saw another job with “software architect”.

Remember when they tried to make ninja, Rockstar, and guru a thing?

If you push tickets - software developer at best.

If you iteratively solve problems by learning, building models, and trying hard to break said models until a sufficiently robust one remains - welcome to engineering.

The Intergalactic Ninja Sultan of Revenue Development

At some jobs, I can get away with "Señor Developer" or "Computer Toucher". Those are the nice ones.

Otherwise it tends to be "Senior Software Engineer" that carries the least constricting baggage.

I SWEAR big company middle managers hear "developer" and they can only ever see you as an infant who without guidance would just keep coding some absolute random shit and not think about product, market, customers, integration, or prioritize their own work.

i can tell a programmer didn't write those questions because "code ninja" isn't one of the options

Code Ninja Rockstar Wizard.

"The computer guy" which is wrong in all ways but somehow correct

monkey

It'd love to be called not burdened with a completely unrealistic software development plan.

Yes

An Enthusiast Googler

Code whisperer

(Until i have to deal with legacy code. Then im usually screaming obscenities)

Yes, yes, Engineer is protected in a lot of spaces. Even here. That said the university programme I've attended was to make me into a "Sotware Engineer" not a "Developer". This university is a university for engineers. Obviously I don't have to requalify every year to remain an Engineer, but saying that I am not an Engineer is factually untrue.

I dont care about names but to be offended because it says Software Engineer on my resume is just dumb.

Also we design a lot of crucial systems. (Such as any RTOS, banking systems and so on and so forth)

Engineer, most girls probably wouldn't think twice about software* but engineer has a ring to it. Like doctor.

Dev.

Nah, nah, nah. You all got it wrong. There's one name and one name only: tech support.

Good girl

My favourite for myself is garbage man. Shit rolls downhill so it always ends in my lap.

Another good one is fixer like the mob.

“Punching bag” is an appropriate title for how the field feels sometimes.

The on-er off-er

Not a programmer. I’m a net admin.

Actually my title is “Senior Network Architect”. I hate it. I feel like it detracts from real architects, who have licensure and actual training from an actual school.

I hate it as an architect, and I hated it as an “engineer”, for the same reason.

Yes, there’s a lot of complexity and planning, especially at larger scales. But it’s mostly self-taught, some webinars, and a lot of on-the-job (read: trial-by-fire) training.

When it comes to telling computers what to do, I have no idea what to call it. I write Python scripts and Ansible modules, I guess. That doesn’t make me any of those titles though. Some times I poor-mans deamonize my scripts (while true loop) and pack them in a container.

Using some of the same tools doesn’t make me any more of the same title.

Everyone who works on making software is a developer, even people who don’t program at all. people who make art for software work in software development. A “coder” only writes code. It’s more of a task than a job. A software engineer does technical design and probably also codes.

Computer code program development engineer, Esq.

"engineer" is different to "programmer". A programmer writes code, while an engineer does more than that, including system design and architecture.

I make computers do useful things.

I think typically A, B, C, and F are acceptable to most people. I certainly wouldn't mind any of those descriptions. D feels antiquated. E is too broad. G just sounds like a hobbyist.

Deputy assistant senior vice president software engineering manager