this post was submitted on 04 Apr 2024
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The political situation for trans people in the southern US has been devolving rapidly and I'm looking to move to a protected state. I'm going to start applying to jobs soon, and I've been considering whether I should apply as my dead self or not.

I haven't changed my legal name yet, so my job applications immediately out me as trans and even if it didn't I don't pass at all currently, so if I got an interview I'd be outed then. I've been reading about how hard it is to get a job as a trans woman and I'll need all the help I can get to get out of this shithole state.

It would kill me to have to go back into the closet for work, but the alternative is being potentially stuck in a place that will forcibly detransition me which is way worse.

Has anyone been in this situation or has any advice?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

This is absolutely something I struggled with. My field is healthcare, and I felt and continue to feel presenting masculine is the safest option. Even if not traditionally masculine (i have my nails done a really pretty purpleblack right now, and am known to braid some of my coworkers hair), the ability to just... exist unbothered as a man is extremely useful.

a few of them know me as trans, but it's also nice to be a bit choosy.

The advantage of being unable to pass as a cis woman means it's still possible to retain your male privilege, and while i'd happily make that trade- it's not something in my power to do right now.

My goals primarily are to feel comfortable and safe in my own skin. Amongst my friends, and even like... bystanders in the grocery store, that means being a woman. Amongst my coworkers however, i unfortunately feel more comfortable as a man; for me.. the dysphoria isn't as bad as the bigotry. But it's a decision you'll have to make for yourself