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[–] 139 points 2 years ago (58 children)

Try ordering at a french breakfast joint if you want to learn what true humiliation feels like. Having your French criticized by an unexpectedly persistent native speaker is unforgettable. I ordered coffee not crepes, you pretentious Italian-derivative median fish in the world’s tiniest pond. I see you snickering. Who orders a raspberry coffee? Guillaume, if you’re reading this, I hope you never eat a decent croissant again for the rest of your life.

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  • [+] 70 points 2 years ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (43 children)
  • [–] 74 points 2 years ago (42 children)
  • [–] 47 points 2 years ago (38 children)
  • [–] 24 points 2 years ago (31 children)

    There's nothing worse in terms of pronunciation than English. French is silly for writing twice as much as what's pronounced, but at least it mostly follows some rules.

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  • [–] 35 points 2 years ago (17 children)

    Doesn't english just get that from being three languages in a trench coat?

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  • [–] 17 points 2 years ago (6 children)
  • [–] 19 points 2 years ago (5 children)

    The one at the bottom who is supposed to just fucking walk but keeps threatening the stability of the whole thing by randomly blurting out nonsense.

    In the dimly lit boudoir, she sat at her ornate bureau, perusing an array of gourmet hors d'oeuvres, contemplating which avant-garde piece from her repertoire to perform at the soirée, her silhouette an epitome of haute couture elegance. Meanwhile, her fiancé, a connoisseur of fine arts and a critic of the bourgeoisie's penchant for laissez-faire economics, prepared a detailed critique on the nuances of ballet and the je ne sais quoi of modern art installations, embodying the esprit de corps of their eclectic salon.

    Statements dreamed by the utterly deranged.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago (4 children)

    They have played us for absolute fools.

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  • [–] 9 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    "The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don’t just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary." --James D. Nicoll

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  • [–] 8 points 2 years ago (6 children)

    What’s so wild is that, as a native speaker, there are SO many rules and edge cases and exceptions…. And I know them by heart without ever being told them explicitly. First example that comes to mind is the whole order of adjectives…. We say big fluffy purple cat, never purple fluffy big cat.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    I can't imagine trying to teach that or explain it in a way that would be satisfactory to someone learning English.

    "I don't KNOW, its just how we do it!"

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  • [+] 15 points 2 years ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)
  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    They are baffling and ridiculous but they are consistent in that. Once you learn one baffling and ridiculous rule, you can successfully apply that rule to correctly pronounce almost any new word you've never encountered before. Eaux is a stupid fucking way of writing "o" to be sure, but at least you will always immediately know how to pronounce it without ever having to guess, or hear it from someone else. Meanwhile in English you write "read" but you pronounce it "read".

    There are of course exceptions, but show me one language in the world that has none.

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  • [–] 8 points 2 years ago* (3 children)

    I am now very competent in Spanish and making no progress in French. Real speakers sound nothing like the classroom. It's so frustrating. I feel like the French are all mumbling with Nutella in their mouths, but my tutor is clear as a bell.

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  • [–] 15 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

    I am currently learning French and what gets me is how much of the French language is contextual for its meaning

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)
  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child)

    I know you ioke but French (or a common root language) shaped so much of what the English language is today it wouldn't surprise me if French influence is why we have that in English as well

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  • [–] 40 points 2 years ago (13 children)

    I was at a Hard Rock Café in Paris (yes I know they're overpriced, but the historic stuff on the walls is pretty cool), and I hobbled my way through a conversation in my very basic French, before adding a little self-deprecating "je suis désolée, mon Français est mauvais", to which he replied "yes, it is a bit shit".

    I laughed, he laughed, my other half laughed, I paid over the odds for a pint, the French dude got a kick out of pointing out the flaws in my attempts, everyone went on their day.

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  • [–] 17 points 2 years ago (7 children)

    I tried to learn some French as I was trecking through and ordered a beer
    He immediately said, I should stay with German, if I can't speak French, because I gendered the fucking beer wrong (neutral in German, female in French)

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    It's frustrating. I kinda get it though - the French are proud of their language, and if they've got well-meaning travellers coming through and butchering it in new and inventive ways (particularly in high tourism areas) day in, day out... I can see how it would be grating.

    I was in Starbucks on the outskirts of Paris, and ordered by drink in pigeon French, and the barista answered me in English. I answered her question in French, and she answered me in English. This went on for a couple more exchanges before we both laughed at how absurd it was - I asked "is my French really that bad?" and she just says "no your French is fine, but I can speak English better". Fair enough.

    I have heard though that outside of Paris though, people are far more appreciative of someone learning the language, to the point of being brutal with it. A friend was out in the North of the country, the locals loved that he was learning, but then let him absolutely sink when he reached a stage of a conversation where he was struggling. They could quite easily have bailed him out in English, but in fairness they made him think that little bit faster to make him learn.

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  • [–] 21 points 2 years ago* (1 child)

    Maybe it's a difference in culture (US being a multicultural nation by definition), but I cannot relate to this at all. I would never dream of mocking a non-native speaker for attempting to order in English. I worked in retail and food service when I was younger, and dealt with foreigners constantly, and not once did I ever feel the need to berate them for getting a word wrong. Fuck all that.

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago*

    Same here. Communication is difficult enough without willfully letting someone flounder. And English can get pretty broken but remain intelligible. If speak like Cookie Monster, still understand what say.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    On the other hand, your German beers are much better than our French beers. Perhaps it was kind but clumsy advice?

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Nah, he seemed pretty pissed. I think it's more like being fed up with German tourists as a waiter - meant not the general public, but this waiter personally. This was in the north eastern part of France. So Germany is quite close

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  • [–] 16 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    Ah yes Paris, the worst place of France

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago

    I was at a place outside Paris, not too far, but in the Normandy countryside, in a tour group for French people because that's what was running when we arrived and we didn't want to wait an hour for the English version.

    Me, with my three years of college-level French, was reasonably able to translate for my wife and ask simple questions. I held most of our questions until the end when everyone else had wandered off, so as to not bother anyone, and when we got the chance I started in with the more involved questions. This biscuit of a young woman listens to me stutter my question out with an utterly deadpan look on her face, and paused, then answered in English.

    I was like, I'm trying here. At least acknowledge I'm trying to respect your culture.

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