this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2024
42 points (100.0% liked)

Transfem

3437 readers
253 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]

Some helpful links:

Support Hotlines:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
[email protected]
[email protected]
42
What does femininity mean to you? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
31 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Over the years, I've seen many folk talking about their relationship with femininity and how it relates to their transition and to their sense of identity, of who they are.

I've never understood it though. I don't feel like I have a relationship with femininity, or at least, nothing beyond pragmatic necessity. It doesn't relate to my sense of identity or who I am. In many ways, it feels like an obligation, rather than a source of empowerment or self understanding.

So, I'm curious how it works for other folk who find empowerment in it. What does it mean to you? How did it help you find yourself? How do you relate to femininity now vs earlier in your life?

Edit - To add some context. I'm 7 years transitioned, and "post transition" for want of a better term. I'm quite comfortable with my own relationship (or lack of it) with femininity. This is more an exercise in trying to understand different perspectives :)

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I've only just recently begun exploring my gender identity. This is all very new for me, and very raw.

Gender is subjective. Defining it is like trying to nail jello to a wall. I cannot think of a single description that is exclusively feminine. When I imagine myself as a woman, I see myself in a new light, through a new lens. It feels like home. Gender is a construct, but that's not to say it's meaningless -- marriage is a construct, too. If it truly is possible to redefine gender as anything you want, then why do I want so very badly to be a woman and not a man?

I never realized how much I despised my body hair until the first time I removed it. The first time my spouse called me "beautiful," I cried, because until that moment I did not realize how many decades I'd been waiting to hear it. Gender is expressive. It's how I see myself, but also how others see me. The desire to express is the desire to be known; I want people to know that I am gentle and nurturing, fragile yet strong, irrational yet relatable in my strangeness.

But I could be wrong about this, every single word of it, and it wouldn't make any difference. Because I started down this path by deciding to want what I wanted, to feel what I felt, to act without trying to justify my actions to some invisible judge. And when I wear a cute outfit and see myself in the mirror, I smile. When my spouse calls me "wife," I blush. When I think of femininity, I think of reinventing myself. To me, femininity is daring to live a life I have dreamed for myself. It is not troubling my spirit to vindicate itself or be understood.

Gender is nothing. But it's also everything.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

So much of your post is reflective of my own experiences with gender!