this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2024
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Or, alternatively, you have difficulty relating to others and so all you notice is their "appearance/perceived wealth".
I can certainly say this is the case for me. I don't know many men or women I have any real interest in getting to know better let alone actually become romantically involved with. I used to just go off physical attraction and try to power through the relationship by faking interest in whatever they wanted to talk about and being funny which could usually carry it for a few months before they got bored of me. At this stage of my life though I've gotten over the "need to be in a relationship to feel complete" thing so now I just don't try to date.
You might find you fit under the aromantic umbrella, if you're looking for others in your situation. It's certainly a valid state to be in, and I hope that not having to seek out romantic relationships has made your life more fulfilling.
What I'd caution (or what I found particularly irritating in the comment I initially replied to) was implying that one is superior and all others are vacuous shells of human beings, which just comes across as pompous and arrogant.
I don't think it makes me better than anyone. Sorry if my comment came across that way. If anything I think it makes me an asshole. I just can't really do anything to change that about myself other than bow out of the dating game.
Oh don't worry -- I didn't get that from your comment! Only the original one I replied to. And I don't think having difficulty with romantic relationships or necessarily friendships makes you an asshole. I hope you're able to find what makes you happy.
No society is to blame. People have been herded into getting excited by products and obsessed with TV shows. There are niches we fit into and we will never admit to thinking anything different than our chosen tribe. If you've chosen to be right wing, Jordan Peterson can do no wrong and to kill a mockingbird is trash. If you're a swiftie, your goddess is absolute. If you're on the left, Israel is inherently demonic. Etc etc. The price you pay for betraying your tribe is isolation, excommunication, disdain. We've bred obedience into the population and sacrificed free will. We're constantly bombarded by Reddit poss and articles about how we're supposed to act and what norms are good and which troubling behaviours are red flags.
So we adjust, rework ourselves, refine our personalities until they become acceptable to our chosen audience. I'd love to get to know other people, but the sad fact is that other people don't want to be known, or have willingly ground down their personality until they're just one of the cattle.
The games people play when dating is a classic example of this. You present yourself a certain way, you shave the right places, you say the right things. If you play correctly you can win a fleshlight with the right to vote.
I'm not interested in having a sex toy that repeats whatever talking points my chosen masters expect. I am a hairy, sweaty, problematic animal. I want to become close with other wretched creatures who say and do inappropriate shit. I'M NOT INTERESTED IN FUCKING CHAT GPT!
Oof. You should do some internal work, this comes off pretty pathetically.
And you should sniff my finger.
Definitely not where that’s been