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A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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Not that I'm aware of. Most methods require some kind of out-of-band way to send the client's real IP to the server. e.g. X-Forwarded-For headers, Proxy Protocol, etc.
If your backend app supports proxy protocol, you may be able to use HAProxy in front on the VPS and use proxy protocol from there to the backend. Nginx may also support this for streams (I don't recall if it does or not since I mainly use HAProxy for that).
Barring that, there is one more way, but it's less clean.
You can use iptables on the VPS to do a prerouting DNAT port forward. The only catch to this is that the VPN endpoint that hosts the service must have its default gateway set to the VPN IP of the VPS, and you have to have a MASQUERADE rule so traffic from the VPN can route out of the VPS. I run two services in this configuration, and it works well.
Where eth0 is the internet-facing interface of your VPS.
Edit: One more catch to the port forward method. This forward happens before the traffic hits your firewall chain on the VPS, so you'd need to implement any firewalls on the backend server.
Thank you so much for the quick and detailed reply, appreciate it!
Done all of the iptables stuff, just trying to change the default gateway on the server at home now:
Does the above netplan yaml look right? When it's applied, I can't access the internet or even the VPS public IP.
Do I need to specify to forward VPN traffic through my router and then traffic to 0.0.0.0/0 through the VPN?
See my other response.
You may need to move the logic from netplan to a script that gets executed when the VPN is brought up. Otherwise, it will likely fail since it won't have the VPN tunnel interface up to route traffic to.