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buy it from somewhere that has a 14 or 30 day "no questions asked" return policy. A competent retailer will have that baked into their margins so don't feel bad doing it. I think that's your best bet.
That's a pain in the ass. Especially because they'll have to mail it, she'll have to set it up, then if she decides she doesn't want it, format it and Mail it back and then go buy another one. Isn't there an easier way to just hold one for a couple of minutes?
I think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill here my man. Having no questions asked 14 days to see if you like not only the form factor but also the stock OS sounds pretty good. I think it'd be just as annoying to hold the phone for 5 minutes, buy it, and then find out later you have gripes with the OS that you don't like.
Even though you think it's annoying to do, it might be worth the trouble to atleast try the phone you aren't familiar with.
I can see where you're coming from but it's probably less of a hassle than finding and going to an in-person shop.