When you open a fresh jar of peanut butter do you only work through one side until it is completely empty then start on the other side?
Or when you get those shallow tubs of hummus does it have to make it back home undisturbed? Then one of the baggers at the grocery store shoves it sideways into the bag completely ruining the symmetry.
I'm so confused. You pivot your elbows and smash the sandwich into your face like the letters hitting the page? You take lots of fast, noisy bites like the sound of typing? You nibble the top piece of bread from left to right, then the filling from left to right, then the bottom, going 'ding!' in between?