this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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I WFH, every year one of the goals that the rest of the team decides is that it's "so great" to see each other in person. The past few years haven't worked out but one did. I spent hours in a couple of airports, the huge expense for the company, I spent days away from my family, and for what? So you could look me in my same face you would see if we turned cameras on every once in a while? My husband says I'm being weird, but I legitimately want to know, what is the benefit? I hate being there and have to play nice so you can.....look me even closer in the face?

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)

This is like calling for straight pride month. Society is built for extroverts, and introverts have always had to put extroverts' needs first. Now that introverts can work in a comfortable environment, suddenly, it's an issue.

When I was in high school, I had a girl tell me I was her favorite person to work with, and for one simple reason: if she wanted to talk, I'd talk to her; and if she didn't, I wouldn't try to force her into a conversation.

It's work, not a social call.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

We are talking about a get together once or twice a year here. That is very much something that is not only beneficial for extroverts, but also most introverts. The extremities between these often get a bit absurd when discussing. Studies show the happiness level of introverts increasing after social gatherings as well.

Not saying it should happen daily or even weekly. But yearly? That should not be a problem for anyone.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

I was talking specifically about PapaStevesy's comment complaining about calling catering to extroverts a drug-fix and catering to introverts normal, and then going on to imply that introverts are unnatural (too heavy a word, but I can't come up with a better one) because "we're social animals."

But as to the OP, I'm not here to argue against the idea that introverts enjoy social interaction. Because they do. It's just mentally and emotionally exhausting to do. What I will argue against is the idea that you need to fulfill that social interaction with the people you work with, especially when it requires going to such lengths as a cross-country flight like in OP's example, who clearly didn't want to do this nor enjoyed a moment of the whole circus of the experience.

At that point, we're not even talking extrovert vs. introvert.

As somebody who spent way too long working at a shitty job because I loved the people I worked with, there's a reason that I never saw any of them outside of work apart from the one guy that I still play games with online. My life doesn't revolve around work. That's not what gives my life meaning. It's simply what I have to do in order to be able to afford to live. I'm not saying be an asshole or don't get along well with the people you work with, but I am saying that I'd rather spend my time with friends, family, and community. Expecting the people you work with, especially at a remote job, to be part of those 3 simply because you work with them is silly. And at that point, going through a once-yearly gathering is simply ritual, nothing more.