this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2023
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  • I live with my parents (both). I have job.

  • I did my share duty: I help pay family electricity/water bill, pay my brothers tution fee.

  • Currently, my salary is multiple time my living cost, so I can save more than half of my salary (no pay rent, no marry, no children)

  • My mum has a brotehr who is not financial stable. She help him (few time yearly, not one time, but yearly). She is very stress about this situation. => when she ask me and my dad to chip in, we both said nope, then ask her to give up on that money black hole. => really hurt our family relationship, because she refuse to do so.

  • That dude (my uncle) have family he has to support. If I chip in with my own salary, his children living standard will increase, they will have better future. It will cost me my spare salary (i will not able save like, 50% of my salary per month)

  • But I don't want to waste money. That money give away is like charity that I can never get back. I don't want to piggy back few dude on my back for years.

So, how do you think on this case.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

She is hurting her brother by treating him as a child. Some people are lucky and can get those skills from their parents. Others aren’t so lucky but can learn the skills if they encounter the natural consequences of their choices.

But when someone steps in to prevent that encounter with natural consequences, they basically make the person stuck in that immature state.

The poor guy is screwed until your mother develops a moral backbone and does the actual right thing, instead of the thing that feels nicest.