this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2024
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Autism
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Can you really not see a connection?
Does she feel better on them, or is she just easier for you to deal with?
Kids know when you trick them, and every time you do, they lose trust in you. Autistic people especially value honesty and directness, we often see right through the bullshit. Stop playing tricks on her, and start working on building trust back.
She may absolutely benefit from the medication, I am not her doctor and I don't know anything about her, and I am not advocating neither for nor against it, but from what you have said, it sounds like you've put her through a hell of a lot to try and find something that "works", but it doesn't sound like it's working for her, not at this point anyway. If the medication makes her feel better, she'll probably want to be on it again in her own time, or she won't, and then either way - you have your answer.
We definitely see the connection and think we have a pretty good idea why she is not taking the meds. A big part of the problem is that we have been told by school and doctors for a couple of years now what to do, and we have done as instructed because they are supposed to be professionals. And the result is like you described, she does not trust us fully anymore.
Im certain she feels better from the meds, but perhaps not directly. But all the fights and irritation that can be avoided has so many side effects. And we saw a very different person back when she took them, happy and at least more content. Its a bit of a catch-22 at this point and I just wish there was something we could do.
Okay, I’m going to explain something here that I don’t think any of these professionals have. Especially because school has been pushing for this too.
When you give a person a medication solely to lessen “behaviours of concern” (fights and irritation) then that is a chemical restrictive practice. What does that mean? It’s a term that gets used in the disability field, alongside four other types of restrictive practices (mechanical, physical, environmental & seclusion). Now these aren’t always used for bad reasons. But if the school is pushing for her to take them due to behaviour issues, that’s a chemical restrictive practice. If the medication is to treat the symptoms she feels from her ADHD then that’s not one. So I think it’s important to ask yourself which is the primary reason. Using restrictive practices can be valid, but only really as a last resort.
Source: Disabled adult with ADHD & Autism, as well as Bipolar, Ehler’s Danlos Syndrome and POTS. I’m a disability advocate as well.
Sorry I was a bit vague there I think, school has pushed for a lot of thing related to ADHD/autism and school absence (although at the time we did not know about autism), but not medicine. More in terms of how we should behave towards our daughter, push her harder to come to school etc. Listening to them is something I regret deeply as it has definitely scarred my relation with her.