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‘Andrew Tate is a symptom, not the problem’: why young men are turning against feminism (www.theguardian.com)
submitted 2 years ago by to c/news@lemmy.world
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Teachers describe a deterioration in behaviour and attitudes that has proved to be fertile terrain for misogynistic influencers

“As soon as I mention feminism, you can feel the shift in the room; they’re shuffling in their seats.” Mike Nicholson holds workshops with teenage boys about the challenges of impending manhood. Standing up for the sisterhood, it seems, is the last thing on their minds.

When Nicholson says he is a feminist himself, “I can see them look at me, like, ‘I used to like you.’”

Once Nicholson, whose programme is called Progressive Masculinity, unpacks the fact that feminism means equal rights and opportunities for women, many of the boys with whom he works are won over.

“A lot of it is bred from misunderstanding and how the word is smeared,” he says.

But he is battling against what he calls a “dominance-based model” of masculinity. “These old-fashioned, regressive ideas are having a renaissance, through your masculinity influencers – your grifters, like Andrew Tate.”

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[–] 1 point 2 years ago (4 children)

I’m pretty sure most people’s entire idea of “feminism” is youtube videos from 2015 complaining about dumb misandrists with colorful hair screaming “kill all men” or something.

But that IS part of feminism. Who is putting these women in check? Serious question. Link me to some of these good feminists please.

Too many people think, because of few reactionary misandrists being significantly more publicized than actual gender equality movements, that feminism is about “we need to make men 2nd-class citizens”

I just want to quickly clarify that's not what I think. I don't think feminism as a whole is about putting men down, and that's a hilariously egocentric viewpoint to have anyway...yeah this whole giant movement that says it's about women is actually about men...come on bro get over yourself lol.

I think feminism is about raising women up. It just doesn't have any mechanism to (1) say "hey we did it! We achieved equality in this area!" (college admissions for example), (2) strive for equality in areas where men are at a disadvantage (dirty, dangerous, physical jobs for example), or (3) address societal problems that uniquely affect men (lack of role models, for example).

we’re in a collective struggle, we should talk about all of our issues,

This is the WHOLE POINT of "what about men?" Feminists do not care about male struggles. And I'm not talking about the ivory tower theorists that no one listens to. I don't know what they think because it doesn't matter. What matters is what everyday feminists think and do and say.

If feminism is about equality, then for the love of God please help men a little. We're really fucking struggling and could use a hand here. Not asking for a lot, just a little acknowledgement and appreciation and maybe a policy initiative here and there.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

    But that IS part of feminism. Who is putting these women in check? Serious question. Link me to some of these good feminists please.

    The entirety of the internet is putting people in check. You don't even have to go to specific feminists to see it, any times a misandrist freak-out goes viral there's immediately a visceral reaction to it by even the "woke" parts of the internet and a bunch of feminists being like "yea s/he's not one of us". Anyone can call themselves anything, and every movement has radicals, but every feminist knows that those radicals are a joke and just easy bait for anti-feminist rhetoric.

    yeah this whole giant movement that says it's about women is actually about men...come on bro get over yourself lol. I think feminism is about raising women up.

    Jesus christ you really did filter out literally everything you just read didn't you... every time "feminism" comes up it's literally feminists telling you "it's not just about women" but people like you just completely ignore it. What entity exactly is "this whole giant movement" that's saying it's about women? I explained where the gendered terms of the movement come from, the historical reasons why they're called that, so I would hope you're not just taking the name at face value. There is literally not a singular feminist that says "yeah this movement isn't about men at all, we only care about women". Many issues in this world primarily screw over women though, and those are often talked about, which I assume is where your confusion comes from.

    It just doesn't have any mechanism to (1) say "hey we did it! We achieved equality in this area!" (college admissions for example)

    What is this even supposed to mean? You think feminists aren't happy and don't take pride in when a goal like more equal treatment in something based on gender or sexual orientation is achieved? That literally proves that you don't actually pay attention to anything that has to do with the movement and you're just making rage up lol.

    (2) strive for equality in areas where men are at a disadvantage (dirty, dangerous, physical jobs for example)

    Except they do. Literally one of the most important parts of the feminist movement is encouraging people to pursue career choices that societal perceptions discourage a specific gender from doing. Especially when it comes to dirty, dangerous, physical jobs. Do you know just how much women working trades/physical labour is talked about in various feminist groups? It is one of the primary workplace issues, generally women are completely bullied out of working such jobs and are seen as "incompetent" when it comes to professions like welders, mechanics, electricians, or any other form of physically demanding jobs. I have witnessed this firsthand, as well as my former best friend literally being a welder and constantly describing how awful women are treated by the people working these jobs, how they're constantly sexualized/objectified and harassed, how they have to always be afraid in their own workplace because of this. This is one of the most important things feminists are actively working on, equalizing trades and making it so both men and women are treated fairly and well. Feminism is also often intertwined with worker's rights, guarantees to employees, safety in the workplace, etc. which fits into this excelently.

    address societal problems that uniquely affect men (lack of role models, for example).

    What? I'm mentally facepalming right now... feminists are constantly encouraging positive role models, educators, leaders, etc. for everyone (including men), what are you on about? Additionally one of feminists' primary concerns is access to healthcare, and especially relating to feminists' concerns is mental healthcare, something that affects men a lot. They recognize what causes many of these problems, and they work to fix them. Feminists fight against negative influences like Jordan Peterson and Andrew Tate.

    Many role models for men were/are feminists, and feminists actively are engaged in propping boys up and encouraging positive traits in them (as well as girls). I think one everyone can relate to hearing is Mr. Rogers.

    This is the WHOLE POINT of "what about men?"

    It really is not. The point is to say "women's issues don't matter because men also have other issues". It is a way to detract from any discussion about women's rights, to try to take over the conversation to say "we have it worse in some different way", to try to emphasize the idea they have that women are privileged and men are the ones that really have it bad. It is never done to add to the conversation, but to change the conversation.

    Feminists do not care about male struggles. And I'm not talking about the ivory tower theorists that no one listens to. I don't know what they think because it doesn't matter. What matters is what everyday feminists think and do and say.

    You are straight up just constructing a strawman and beating it to death. What feminist discussions have you attended? Any at all?

    If feminism is about equality, then for the love of God please help men a little.

    That is quite literally what we are trying to do. But people like you refuse it and try to turn it around as a way to disparage other groups and diminish discussions about women's struggles and gender in society. And you make strawmen constructed of some 2014 internet perception of a "feminist" pretending feminists actually believe in that, meanwhile "men's rights activists"/anti-feminists are represented by literal far-right sex traffickers (as opposed to the many positive role models who are feminists). Like can you name any popular, modern-day, prominent-among-feminist influencers that are even a small fraction of the absurdity of that? Feminist role model influencers are random often apolitical chill people like Technoblade
    lmao.

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  • [–] 0 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Yeah I'm just gonna call you a liar. All you're doing is saying "oh yeah we're totally working on that" but that's just blatant bullshit. Becaaaaause

    It is never done to add to the conversation, but to change the conversation.

    You fucking shut the conversation down any time it goes there. You define men's issues as being impossible to discuss. You seriously believe that never once in the history of any of these discussions, somone saying "but what about men" has wanted to add to the conversation rather than derail it?

    Show me the feminist initiatives to get women into trades. Show me the feminists working to get more male teachers. Show me the feminists funding scholarships for men. Because not only have I never seen anything like that, I've never even HEARD of anything like that. And I've gone looking.

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child)

    Okay, you're just copping out of the conversation and ignoring pretty much all the points you don't like but I'll give you what you want.

    You fucking shut the conversation down any time it goes there. You define men's issues as being impossible to discuss.

    No, we just have the reaction anyone would have if we were talking about problems we face and someone else was like "yeah but what about these other issues I face". You're honestly telling me you think someone who just says "oh yeah your broken leg is bad but what about my broken arm? that's bad, if not worse, and i'm tired of people talking about your leg when nobody is talking about my arm" is doing so in good faith? When do feminists shut down such conversations about men? Why do you insist on just making shit up about feminists saying not to discuss men's issues?

    You seriously believe that never once in the history of any of these discussions, somone saying "but what about men" has wanted to add to the conversation rather than derail it?

    I don't know every person in history who has done that, but when you respond to literally anything discussing women's struggles with "but what about men who have X bad" it is more often then not a quite obvious attempt at diminishing the issue at hand. There are people who say "I'm not a woman but here's my perspective as a man who's faced similar issues", who are adding to the conversation, and then there are people who instead take the opportunity to try to find some way to frame the problem as not as serious as men's problems, and then often devolve it into blaming women for men's problems and try to say "well actually women are privileged" to completely avoid the point. Feminists do not get in the way of issues affecting men and are usually the primary proponents of solving problems faced regardless of gender – most are not ones to go into discussions about how young men are facing loneliness to say "but loneliness isn't just a men's thing, women also face record high loneliness! and in fact women have it worse because nobody acknowledges their loneliness epidemic!" yet this is exactly the reaction you see droves of which are highly popular on social media every time women's issues get brought up.

    Show me the feminist initiatives to get women into trades.

    Yeah this is how I know you're talking out of your ass. How did you go through the entire 2000s-2010s without seeing all the initiatives to get women to work in traditionally male work places? Regardless I'll give you what you want, talking about the issues faced with women not working in traditionally male-dominated workplaces and encouraging women in trades and many others:

    https://www.apprenticeship.gov/employers/diversity-equity-inclusion-accessibility/women-in-apprenticeship#:~:text=The%20U.S.%20Department%20of%20Labor%27s%20Women%27s%20Bureau%20has%20awarded%20%247.4,as%20well%20as%20nontraditional%20occupations.

    "The U.S. Department of Labor's Women's Bureau has awarded $7.4 million in active grant funding to help recruit, train and retain more women in quality pre-apprenticeship and registered apprenticeship programs as well as nontraditional occupations."

    https://www.usnews.com/opinion/articles/2023-06-01/constructing-a-place-for-women-in-the-skilled-trades

    https://blogs.lse.ac.uk/businessreview/2018/08/28/how-to-help-women-sustain-careers-in-male-dominated-spaces/

    https://www.usaid.gov/engendering-industries/gender-equality-best-practices-framework

    Show me the feminists working to get more male teachers.

    Literally this entire Reddit thread is full of feminists discussing exactly that, and quite clearly having a higher amount of male educators than we currently have is pretty important to them, with the reception to the topic being overwhelmingly positive and linking many resources on the matter: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskFeminists/comments/1776kfn/what_is_the_impact_of_the_lack_of_male_teachers/

    Show me the feminists funding scholarships for men.

    The origin in scholarships for historically disadvantaged groups is based in the fact that they faced many significant barriers in the past to attending college, and these scholarships were crucial to getting e.g. women, black people, to attend. Your question is a bit like asking about racial minority rights movements creating scholarships for white people. That being said there are a TON of scholarships for men (and for specific groups of whites), here's a list:

    https://www.scholarships.com/financial-aid/college-scholarships/scholarships-by-type/scholarships-for-men/

    https://scholarships360.org/scholarships/scholarships-for-men/

    https://www.aamn.org/scholarships

    Plus you have things like this which are supported by people who think like you: https://www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2022/04/13/womens-scholarships-and-awards-eliminated-to-be-fair-to-men/?sh=519c6bd87fe2

    Your point is assuming that men have disproportionately higher of a financial burden to going to college than women. Which they don't. In fact, women have significantly more student loan debt than men and are generally less financially independent in our society so it's the other way around. Men's college problems are more skewed towards the various other social issues that feminists work to improve, i.e. access to mental health services (which often disproportionally affects men) and harmful gender norms, like once again causes men to be perceived as not fit for child-related activities (like teaching). The result is that, in general, scholarships are a lot more effective for women than for men, so there is more initiative for scholarships for women, while college health resources are more directed towards men.

    In general feminists aren't very pro-gender based scholarship to begin with, although there are a lot of scholarships for both women and men (for example MenTeach which is made specifically to get men teaching) which are supported by many feminists.

    Also things like this are mostly just an American thing, scholarships like that are generally rare outside of the US... but in the US, Feminists are a LOT more concerned with completely reforming the broken education system that requires you to have to have scholarships to go in the first place.

    Because not only have I never seen anything like that, I've never even HEARD of anything like that. And I've gone looking.

    Lmao you obviously haven't. I was able to find all of these with actual seconds of searching. You are a liar.

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  • [–] -2 points 2 years ago*

    You’re honestly telling me you think someone who just says “oh yeah your broken leg is bad but what about my broken arm? that’s bad, if not worse, and i’m tired of people talking about your leg when nobody is talking about my arm” is doing so in good faith?

    ...yeah, at least some of the time. Is that so hard to believe? We have whole specialist medical centers dedicated to broken legs but not a single broken arm specialist. Yeah, usually setting a broken arm isn't that difficult, but sometimes it is, and we don't have anyone to help.

    yet this is exactly the reaction you see droves of which are highly popular on social media every time women’s issues get brought up.

    True, and for that reason I understand your frustration. It does happen a lot, and there's a lot of shitty incel types out there eager to disrupt a good faith conversation. But this isn't a topic about women. This is explicitly a topic about how men view feminism. I'm not going off-subject or derailing here: this is the subject.

    How did you go through the entire 2000s-2010s without seeing all the initiatives to get women to work in traditionally male work places?

    Dude I WORK IN THE TRADES, I think I might have a better view of it than you. Been a blue collar laborer all my life, and I don't recall ever seeing a jobs program for women that wasn't geared towards something white-collar, even if it may nominally interact with blue collar labor sectors. In any case, you linked a few government diversity initiatives, which is nice, not really doing much, but nice. None of it is feminists. Actually, I've thought about this a bit more, and I think it's fair to assume that the US DoL Women's Bureau contains a lot of feminists and uses feminist ideology in its policies. I still maintain that it's not doing much and it's not something that feminists give much thought to. But I'll concede it's on the radar. I was not aware of this or similar programs. Maybe if we 100x them we could start to address inequality in the trades.

    Reddit thread

    I wouldn't say it's "overwhelmingly positive", though there is much more support of the idea than I was expecting. This thread is a counter-example. This response strikes me as particularly honest and self-reflective...it's not malicious, per se, it's just indifference.

    scholarships

    Okay, there's a gazillion small scholarships out there, statistically some of them will be for men. That's not what I meant. I meant an organized, concerted, well-funded effort to increase college participation rates by men by offering scholarships.

    Your point is assuming that men have disproportionately higher of a financial burden to going to college than women.

    No, I'm sorry, I should have clarified. I was referring to the gender gap in college enrollment, not any gap in cost. Scholarships were just the first tool that came to mind that could be theoretically used to increase male college enrollment.

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