The first time in my near-six year spell as a parent I finally had the fabled 'supermarket meltdown'.
Not for transparency sake I'll admit, the meltdown began the Moment we left the house and I had the nerve, the gaul to...hold my two year olds hand whilst walking to the shops.
30 minutes later and, well we get to the shops. I've been kicked, hit and screamed at for the entire walk because my unruly toddler didn't want to hold my hand...but also didn't want to be carried.
And then it happened. Lemons. We didn't need lemons. He didn't truly even want them. But alas, he decided this was his hill to die on, and oh boy.
Told him no. Offered him my hand. Nothing. He wouldn't budge from the lemons. My eldest is off doing her own thing with grandad, but even they heard what was to come: the scream. So much screaming.
I scooped him up whilst trying to hold a jar of Bolagnese sauce and a packet of Garlic and Herb New Potatoes and quickly made my way to the middle of the store. As my toddler screams with the intensity of a thousand angry sun-gods I hand him the goods and make my way outside, away from judging eyes. My son then proceeds to scream for a further five minutes before ultimately, giving in and accepting defeat.
So yeah. That was my Sunday afternoon. I handled it fine but bloody hell it took the shine of what should have been a nice little walk.
How have your kids pissed you off recently??
I found that when they are of that age where you need to move them, but they would lie down when having a tantrum, and arch their back if you tried to carry them for maximum awkwardness, that dungarees are a good tool.
It gives a nice back strap so you can carry them like a briefcase until you get out of the "bad zone", whether that's a supermarket or otherwise, with minimum face scratching, back arching or other attempts to foil your plots to remove them from the situation.