this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2024
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Asklemmy
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Yes. My current dominant personality is a mask Iโve worn for so long it just feels like my face.
Society has lots of such things, especially around gender roles. And the man-as-top sexual role is about as deep as it gets.
I lost three girlfriends as a result of revealing my submissive side. The middle of those three, we even got together on that basis (both of us on acid, her tying me to her bed literally before the first time we kissed).
So I just stopped.
Sorry to hear that. I'm sure it's especially difficult for those who want the lifestyle outside the bedroom too. My ex was the type that expected me to muscle up (I'm a big person) if someone was mistreating her while we were out instead of de-escalating or walking away. Obviously, that's not my style, not to mention a good way to get killed.
I'm not looking to play the role 24/7 in a relationship, but it bleeds over enough into everyday life that I feel I can't get to a point where I have to keep it secret.