I was an anarchist for a huge part of my life (most of my teenage years) and kinda began to get more connected with M-L and stuff like that, and I would call myself a marxist. Yet, everytime I talk with other leftist I either get called a tankie or an anarkiddie. If I recommend Das Kapital, I'm a state bootlicker or a left wing fascist. If I talk about how I prefer direct democracy but know that the process to communism is slow and needs some help of a state, I get called an anarkiddie. Anyway, I just find exhausting the infighting. I already struggle a lot with mental health just to be poorly treated by other people that, supposedly, want the same as all of us. Anyway you guys in lemmygrad have been always so nice, thanks btw. Have a nice week and thanks for reading my small rant.
I assume most, if not all, of this infighting you're experiencing is online. Don't feel disheartened by the internet discourse machine, it's entire point of existence is to create arguments so people have something to talk about since it's (nearly fully) disconnected from the stakes of the real world. Your mileage may vary but I find people in the real world are significantly less interested in relitigating the debates of the last century compared to people online, even if they do identify as a die hard [your tendency here].