this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2024
50 points (90.3% liked)
Lemmy Dadsplain
819 readers
2 users here now
Community for exeriences, insights, and camaraderie relating to fatherhood. Or just dad jokes.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Corporal punishment breeds fear, not respect.
What does is loving, present, interested parents, combined with consistent, logical rules, with consistent consequences.
Spanking will work in the short term, at the cost of significant damage to their adult psyche. It's insidious, hard to fix later. When the foundations of trust are shattered, everything else following is built of a bed of sand.
That must be why entire generations of people were ruined. Thank god this generation figured it out!
Arguably, a lot were.
And we haven't gotten it figured out. Accepting that is the first step towards improvement. We've simply turned the best method of improving things on the problem. It turned out that many people were thriving despite the beatings, rather than because of them.
We will still make mistakes, but, if we do it right, they will be lesser. The generations following can learn more, fix more, and build higher again.
There's a gulf of difference between "I was spanked as a kid for stealing a candy bar" to "that's child abuse and deserves 10 years in prison". Advocating for subjecting a child to the foster system because a poor, tired, single mother of 3 kids resorted to spankings is ridiculous. People in this sub need to check themselves.
You wouldn't get 10 years for a simple spanking. Just like you wouldn't get 10 years for slapping a police officer.
The countries with those laws on the books have them as a deterrent, primarily. They are intended for when kids are left with broken bones, scars and missing teeth from their punishment.
Generally the tool of choice is education. Spanking breaks the trust between the parent and the vulnerable child. That trust is the key to getting positive change. The use of other methods gets better results. This makes life easier for the mother, and happier for everyone involved.
Question for you. If the line shouldn't be drawn at "any physical violence" where should it be drawn? Is caning ok? Extinguishing cigarettes on them? Punching? Hitting with a baseball bat? How would you clarify acceptable Vs unacceptable?
Sophistry. Is it your position that no one was ever "ruined" by spanking? Then you're just in denial of reality. Keep your bullshit to yourself.