this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2024
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I have a unique name, think John Doe, and I'm hoping to create a unique and "professional" looking email account like [email protected] or [email protected]. Since my name is common, all reasonable permutations are taken. I was considering purchasing a domain with something unique, then making personal family email accounts for [email protected] [email protected] etc.

Consider that I'm starting from scratch (I am). Is there a preferred domain registrar, are GoDaddy or NameCheap good enough? Are there prebuilt services I can just point my domain to or do I need to spin up a VPS and install my own services? Are there concerns tying my accounts to a service that might go under or are some "too big to fail"?

I can expand what hangs off the domain later, but for now I just need a way to make my own email addresses and use them with the relative ease of Gmail or others. Thanks in advance!!

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[–] [email protected] 72 points 10 months ago (7 children)

Do NOT self-host email! In the long run, you'll forget a security patch, someone breaches your server, blasts out spam and you'll end up on every blacklist imaginable with your domain and server.

Buy a domain, DON'T use GoDaddy, they are bastards. I'd suggest OVH for European domains or Cloudflare for international ones.

After you have your domain, register with "Microsoft 365" or "Google Workspace" (I'd avoid Google, they don't have a stable offering) or any other E-Mail-Provider that allows custom domains.

Follow their instructions on how to connect your domain to their service (a few MX and TXT records usually suffice) and you're done.

After that, you can spin up a VPS and try out new stuff and connect it also to your domain (A and CNAMR records).

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (2 children)

That said, you can use a third party service only for sending, but receive mail on your self-hosted server.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I've been successfully using SES for a couple years now without issue.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Do you have more details on your setup?

I currently selfhost mailcow on a small VPS but I would like to move the receiving part to my homelab and only use a small VPS or service like SES for sending.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

I set this up a couple years ago but I seem to remember AWS walking me through the initial setup.

First you'll need to configure your domain(s) in SES. It requires you to set some DNS records to verify ownership. You'll also need to configure your SPF record(s) to allow email to be sent through SES. They provide you with all of this information.

Next, you'll need to configure SES credentials or it won't accept mail from your servers. From a security standpoint, if you have multiple SMTP servers I would give each a unique set of credentials but you can get away with one for simplicity.

Finally you'll need to configure your MTA to relay through SES. If you use postfix here's a quick guide: https://medium.com/@cloudinit/sending-emails-with-postfix-and-amazon-ses-2341489a97e2

I've got postfix configured on each of my VPS servers, plus and internal relay, to relay all mail through SES. To the best of my knowledge it's worked fine. I haven't had issues with mail getting dropped or flagged as SPAM.

There is a cost, but with my email volumes (which are admittedly low) it costs me 2-3 cents a month.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

They rejected me for using for personal notifications. I get being strict but good God let me use your service and if I abuse it shut me down.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

What do you mean, "for personal notifications"? I have a bunch of alert notifications that route through SES back to me. Never had an issue.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

SES requires a manual review by their support to be able to send external emails. I was requesting for access to send to my Gmail notifications (and friends technically) from my self hosted services. They rejected my request.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Weird. I don't remember my exact request but it was basically "send email on my personal domains" and they approved it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Must have had a nice representative! Haha

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

That's what I'm doing. I have selfhosted E-Mail with YunoHost and send it through SMTP2Go.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

All good advice. I'd recommended protonmail for mail hosting - got very good experience with them and the onky downside is you have to use their client.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I was using proton for a while, but they are pretty expensive if you want features like catchall and more aliases, on top of restricting clients.

Migadu offers complete email freedom for $20 ($10 for students) a year, unlimited accounts, aliases, identities, etc. I've been very happy with them.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

@[email protected]

I'll second not self hosting email unless you're in it for the experience.

I'd also strongly caution against hosting email for friends and family unless you want to own that relationship for the rest of your life.

If you do it anyway, you're going to end up locked into whatever solution you decide for a long time, because now you have users who rely on that solution.

If you still go forward, don't use Google (or msft). Use a dedicated email service. Having your personal domain tied to those services just further complicates the lock in.

(I did this over a decade ago, with Google, when it was just free vanity domain hosting. I've been trying for years to get my users migrated to Gmail accounts.)

If I had it all to do over again. I'd probably setup accounts as vanity forwards to a "real" account for people who wanted them. That's easy to maintain, move around, and you're not dealing with migrating peoples oauth to everything when you want to move or stop paying for it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I have a bunch of users (friends and family) on a bunch of different domains. It's honestly not so bad but yeah, you need a decent dedicated service.

Migrations aren't simple but aren't that complicated either (just did one last year).

I mainly need to copy their email over but it's also a good moment to check they're using decent passwords and to have them freshen it.

I also need to update their webmail and IMAP/SMTP URLs in their bookmark/email apps but I've been playing with DNS CNAMEs for this purpose and it's mostly working ok (aliasing one of my domains to the provider's so I only have to update the DNS which I do anyway for a mail migration).

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

My mistake was using Google but when it was just the ability to have a personal domain as your google account. But they kept expanding and morphing that into what is now Google Workspace. Migrating people off of that requires them to abandon their Google accounts and start over. If it was just email it would be a much simpler prospect to change backends.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Can you not transfer away a domain from Google as you would from any other registrar? And then set the MX records to point at another mail service?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Certainly. But, what I'm trying to say is it's not just email. My users are using my domain as their Google account. All Google services, oAuth, etc..., not just email. To do it right I need to get them to migrate their google services to a gmail.com account.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I’d avoid Google, they don’t have a stable offering

What you you mean by not stable?

I've been (stuck with) Google Workspace for many, many years - I was grandfathered out from the old G-Suite plans. The biggest issue for me is that all my Play store purchases for my Android are tied to my Workspace's identity, and there's no way to unhook that if I move.

I want to move. I have serious trust issues with Google. But I can't stop paying for Workspaces, as it means I'd lose all my Android purchases. It's Hotel fucking California.

But I've always found the email to be stable, reliable, and the spam filtering is top notch (after they acquired and rolled Postini into the service).

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I tore that bandwidth off a while ago. Same thing with trust issues and google.

Since then I set up a family account and use a regular Gmail account for app store purchases so I can change provider at any time. Can share most of my app purchases with family. I don't actually check the gmail email. Just use it for Android services.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Yeah, that's the other thing that shits me. Paying for my wife and I on Workspaces, and we don't have family sharing rights. We're literally paying to be treated like second-class citizens!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I mean, they kill services willy nilly. Sure Gmail will probably survive, but the rest drove me away (Reader, Music, ...).

Regarding your Android purchases: At the time of my move I went through my list of apps I bought and tallied the ones up, that I still used. It was less than $50 of repurchases.

Don't let those old purchases hold you back. Cut this old baggage loose.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (2 children)

At the time of my move I went through my list of apps I bought and tallied the ones up, that I still used. It was less than $50 of repurchases.

Yeah, I know this what I should do too. As someone else said in this comment thread, gotta tear that bandaid off at some point. Just shits me that I should have to. But the freedom after doing it... <chef's kiss>

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

One warning, though: After moving, you'll probably need another Google account again, to use the Play Store... it sucks.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Yeah, still got my ancient free Gmail account going. Will probably revert to that.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

"But I shouldn't have to" is a trap, everywhere it occurs. It cripples one's ability to act on an emotional level, and manifests as all kinds of resistances and avoidances that ultimately prevent you from seeing the problem clearly - and if you somehow do see the problem clearly, you still don't want to do anything about it.

The world owes you nothing. You exist. If you want love and fairness and a reasonable world, love and be fair and be reasonable, and choose to work together with those who are. Where you work, what you spend your time on, where you spend your money, and who you spend your time with are your places of impact. Don't let others steal that - particularly over 'but I shouldn't have to defend myself.'

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

I'd throw in mailbox.org as a more privacy-focused alternative to Google and Microsoft. Been using them for years without issues. Only their 2FA solution sucks.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

If you get your domain from OVH, you get one single mailbox (be it with a lot of aliases, like a different email-address for every service/website you use) for free.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

FWIW ive used Google for about ten years for email and have never modified my DNS records. They seem extremely stable.

It's basically a Gmail account with a custom domain.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

I did as well, but then I went Microsoft and never looked back. Google's platform still feels like a shitty startup with missing stuff everywhere, compared to Azure (or AWS).

The only thing I'm missing is Google Photos, but there are self-hosted alternatives out, that I'll try soon.