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Why isn't anyone farting in school? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 10 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

127 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I was homeschooled previously with a small group of other children and we fart in class all the time.

Now I'm in public school for high school and no one is farting. I was very sheltered and public school is like a whole new world for me, so I don't know what the norms are. I've been holding it in but my stomach hurts and it leaks out anyway.

I don't understand how there are so many more people in high school and yet zero farts...

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[–] [email protected] 251 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Go to the bathroom between passing periods and let one out.
Improve your diet, don’t drink carbonated drinks.
I can’t believe I’m having this interaction on Lemmy

[–] [email protected] 34 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Figure out if you are lactose intolerant and don't have any milk or dairy products before going to school or during the day ..... have the cheese at the end of the school day.

Exercise and walk lots .... not intensive just keep moving. The digestive system works better when the body is moving ... the muscle movement especially your abdomen literally pumps and drives the digestive system.

The longer and more often you sit still, the more likely all that content will just sit and take longer to pass. The longer it sits, the more likely you'll build up gas, more gas, more farting.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Or, figure out if you are lactose intolerant. And if you are? Fill yourself up with dairy and be a true menace.

Just don't shit yourself. Otherwise, you're just the weird guy who shits himself.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

I didn't know I was lactose intolerant for a long time. I used to have a carton of milk at morning break every day and release absolutely rancid SBDs afterward. One day was particularly impressive - the guy I had a crush on proclaimed it was so bad that if it had been his he would have named it.